You have a lot of potential! Is a common compliment. The speaker is usually someone who means well and in most cases the listener receives it as such. There is only one problem; the phrase is almost completely meaningless and can be downright limiting if one were to truly analyze it.
First off, nobody ever really defines what the term potential even means in the first place. Barring a literal meaning of the word-stored energy prior to being converted to kinetic energy-nobody ever really defines what they mean. The phrase is highly context dependent. Furthermore, how does one measure potential? This is easier in some realms than in others-it is easier to identify a top performing salesman. However, in other realms, such as art or music, this well-intended compliment becomes much more difficult to put into use
If I was charitable in the previous paragraph, allow me to be cynical here. When someone says that another person has potential, they are often just projecting their own wants and desires onto the other person. Sadly, this is done frequently in youth sports; Dad never made D1 but his chip-off-the-old-block sure has potential. Ditto for the high school teacher’s A+ student, they sure have potential and can make something of themselves. Such notions load a high burden of expectations-and all of the ensuing judgment-onto the recipient. In these more sinister cases, the “compliment” usually does not factor in what the recipient wants at all. Maybe the valedictorian wants to work for Green Peace, or Daddy’s little All Pro really just wants to draw web-comics. However, should these two hypothetical cases pursue what their desired hobbies or career interests, many would say they’re wasting their potential. Used in that context, the speaker is often using a lot of judgmental undertones; You have so much potential, yet… only to follow up with some holier-than-thou assessment. What gives the speaker, or anyone else for that matter, to say that another human being following an ethical life pursuit is a waste?
Speaking of external judgment, who gets to decide where one’s potential ends? We often say You have potential and then just leave it at that. However, unless they’re implying unlimited potential (whatever that means), then there would have to be a limit on what the recipient is capable of. Using a sales example, saying a sales rep has potential can be encouraging at first, however its usefulness is quickly limited. Potential for what? To become the highest grossing sales rep at the company? To be Head of Sales? To become CEO? To run for President of the United States? What gives the speaker, or anyone else for that matter, the moral right to decide the achievement gap of another human being?
Let’s assume from the previous paragraph I’m wrong and the speaker has nothing but good intent, the You have potential line is not only vague but in this case is short-sighted. This hypothetical sales rep usually has the potential to become a good sales rep one day. The lack of specificity is unhelpful. A better alternative would be to say something along the lines of I think you are capable of accomplishing X but to do that you’ll likely have to do Y. This is a far better dialog than merely telling someone they have potential, assuming you have the required expertise to provide specific and actionable advice on that realm.
Furthermore, the vague You have potential line is used a lot in the toxic self-help/self-development community. A suave and charismatic “guru” will offer to help you achieve your potential, assuming of course if you buy their book, or worse yet, subscribe to their course. Such courses are not cheap, and these gurus are often just preying upon those with self-esteem issues. They gave their marks students a momentary hit of dopamine by giving them the hollow compliment of You have potential as a means of trapping them into an expensive paid course. The word potential is indeed powerful.
Most people are of course not manipulative sociopaths, and generally mean well when they use that phrase. However, it seems that many people who use the phrase don’t seem to realize how hollow and meaningless it is. In our quest to spread positivity (a worthwhile endeavor), we’ve decided on feel-good phrases that are poorly thought out. So therefore, I say that you dear reader, have the potential to give someone a sincere, non-judgmental and specific compliment to someone you truly care about. Be careful though, you wouldn’t want to waste the potential I just gave you, now would you?
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