“There’s no such thing as a perfect job”, quipped my father one day when I was a child. While I had no context to his wisdom at the time, I would later come to realize how correct he truly was. While I wish job candidates well during their search for a new opportunity, there is a lot of marketing aimed towards helping candidates land the perfect job. Understandably, this is a slogan to help headhunters, job posting sites and others involved in the placement industry to entice candidates. However, there is a dark truth that few will acknowledge; there is no such thing as the perfect job. There will always be parts of a job that will be unpleasant but essential. Don’t believe me? Let’s take a look at some of the greatest jobs on Earth.
Many young children will answer astronaut to the ridiculous question of What do you want to be when you grow up? (An ethically dubious question that we need to stop asking, as it sends the message to wrap one’s identity in a job title from an early age). Astronauts face a ruthless selection process where few applicants will actually land the coveted job. Upon landing the coveted job, new astronauts face an absolutely grueling training regimen that last for years at a time, where they are subjected to forces that exceed the Earth’s normal gravity (read: the conditions that our species evolved for). After the trainings, it is time for a real mission. Often these involve going to a satellite and performing some mundane repair yet that could easily cost you your life. Lengthy missions to the International Space Stations involve several months away from one’s family in closed quarters on a spacecraft shared with Russians who at best are indifferent to your presence. Upon a very risky and turbulent re-entry, a lengthy quarantine and physical therapy period await, as the human body atrophies quickly in space. All of this demanding work is done for a low government salary, far below what one would make in the private sector of the aerospace industry.
So, you want to be an NFL player instead? Assuming one makes it to the NFL (a pitifully low fraction of a percent of high school football players make it to the NFL), the typical career lasts for three seasons while making the league minimum (i.e. not millions per year). This typical NFL player will barely make the roster and has to play special teams, the unglamorous and riskiest part of the game. For the sake of argument, let’s say you make the starting lineup, or even a Pro Bowl selection. The forfeiture of one’s privacy to the prying eyes of your teams fanbase and the ruthless media is a frequent complaint of NFL players. Should your team go on a lengthy losing streak, probing questions involving the job security of your brethren, your coach, and ultimately you will eventually come. There is always a younger player ready and willing to replace you, job security in the NFL is a myth. The off-season will be constantly interrupted by supposedly voluntary mini-camps. And I haven’t even mentioned concussions, CTE, or the dramatically shorter life expectancy.
Ok, so you want to be President of the United States (POTUS)? The POTUS faces a grueling work schedule; in fact, it is a 24/7 job with no days off. No matter what decision (usually based on incomplete information) you make, there is an entire round-the-clock TV network with the sole intent of attacking your decisions, tearing down your character and energizing the population to vote against you in the coming re-election campaign. Numerous before-and-after photos of recent Presidents show the accelerated aging that job inflicts. There is a constant barrage of press conferences and staff meetings to attend, day-in and day-out. The job requires a lot of foreign travel, usually to locations with governments that aren’t particularly thrilled to see you. The position pays $400,000 per year, which is peanuts compared to what a private sector CEO is paid, and you’ll have a maximum of eight years to do the job, assuming you do it well enough to get re-elected in the first place.
Venture capitalist, you say? I hope you’re prepared to sit through endless pitch meetings and slide decks from cash-strapped and desperate founders and CEO’s. Many of the investments you make will fail, this is an inevitability. In fact, a small number of investments are often what carries the entire portfolio, assuming you can spot the companies worth investing in at all (not everyone has the special sauce of investing). There is a high likelihood of building a losing portfolio, or at least underperforming the S&P 500 index. This is why one of my idols, Peter Theil, is so legendary in the VC community; the odds are not in the favor of the venture capitalist.
To be clear, these are some of the coolest jobs on the planet, the ones millions of people would give a kidney to have. These coveted jobs are not the reality for most people. So, while I wish everyone luck in finding what they look for, we need to have an understanding that sacrifices will need to be made for the sake of priorities. Do you want a 100% remote gig? I hope you’re prepared to deal with the isolation. Want to take a promotion/new job/transfer to NYC or San Francisco? Go for it but be prepared to choose between a lengthy commute or steeply expensive housing.
The point of this post isn’t to dissuade people from pursuing their career goals; in fact, I encourage people to find that which fulfills them. My ultimate take-home message is that even your dream job is going to have unpleasant aspects to it and tasks you’d rather not do, but have to do anyways. There are certainly bad jobs (I don’t see anyone clamoring to shovel coal into a furnace) and there are certainly great jobs out there-we are fortunate to have a lot of great jobs available in the United States. However, all I’m saying is there are no perfect jobs, so adjust expectations accordingly.
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