It’s the start of a joke that has seemingly been around forever; Why did the chicken cross the road? Often, this line is thrown around without a second thought, and even I am guilty of doing so. However, what if I told you that this opener revels a lot about our culture? Today we’ll explore the hidden pitfalls of this opener.
Why did the chicken cross the road? preconditions us to question the motive of the chicken. Why is there so much suspicion and contempt for the bird that literally feeds America? Chicken meat and their eggs are common staples of the North American diet. Other common food sources like the cow and the pig are rarely treated as the butt of a joke here in America. In fact, wild animals that are commonly hunted such as deer, moose, elk, pheasant, wild turkey and more are not treated with nearly the same level of suspicion as the chicken is for their choice of migration pattern. Yet, the harmless chicken is the one we decide to flex on. Here in America, our legal system is built upon the premise of innocent until proven guilty. It’s time we extend that to chickens.
It is also a sign of the ever-growing police state here in the America that we feel the need to constantly surveil the location of the chicken. While humans are protected by the fourth amendment in the land of the free, sadly our feathered friends are not. We would hardly fathom a reasonable situation where it would be okay to question Why did that guy over there cross the road? without sound extremely paranoid, invasive or suspicious. Yet, we have normalized this predatory behavior with regards to a farm animal.
Chickens are not an inherently violent or destructive animal. Their negative impact to human life is rather low, so why is there a presumption of guilt assigned to the chicken? I’ll tell you why, it’s because the chicken is relatively powerless. How a society treats it’s powerless reveals a lot about its culture and using this as the opener of a joke reflects poorly on our culture. On the other hand, wild turkeys, wild boars, and moose are violent, destructive animals. In Texas, boars have become such a problem in some parts of the state that they have suspended hunting limits in regard to the boar. Moose can-and frequently do-end human lives with ease. Wild turkeys are similarly destructive, known to attack humans and ruin the sides of houses and vehicles. Yet instead of solving the issue of how we can live in harmony with our local wildlife, we choose to belittle the kind chicken.
In a practical sense, the chicken likely crossed the road to find a food source, fresh air, exercise and clean water. The Poultry Industrial Complex (and yes, it is an industrial complex) has standardized every phase of the bird’s life, to the benefit of not the chicken, the independent grower, the marketplace, or even the human who will eventually eat the chicken’s muscular mass. No, this standardization has come to only the benefit of the shareholders of the Poultry Industrial Complex. This standardization commonly includes cramped living quarters where the bird cannot turn around for most of its life. The bird is also known to live in complete darkness, have a nutritionally poor diet and live in a silo with thousands of its neighbors, clucking at all hours of the night. This sounds like a prison! No wonder a chicken would want out.
Given the prison-like conditions the chicken is forced to endure here in North America, it’s no wonder the freedom of the open field is so alluring. The chicken is finally free to face traverse anywhere it’s twiggy legs can carry it. Often, this includes crossing the road as the chicken yearns to explore its newly found freedom. And yet here we stand, judging its navigational decisions. The line also assumes that the chicken is aware of the fact that it is crossing a road in the first place. Chickens have lived in North America since long before the advent of the paved road, and the dangerous motor vehicles that inhabit them. Therefore, the questions we ought to be asking is, who put this road through the chicken’s home? That question does have an answer, though it is one we all prefer not to talk about; the United States government and its power of eminent domain. We the people found it useful to put a road through lowly-populated areas, without little to no consideration of its impact on the non-human occupants. Roadkill is depressingly common and is particularly dangerous with larger game in more rural parts of the nation. Alas, Manifest Destiny has come at a cost.
In order to highlight how ridiculous and condescending the opening line of that joke is, let’s run a thought experiment. Aliens have landed on Planet Earth and have decided to not come in peace. The militaries of the world unite to fight off the extraterrestrial threat but to no avail; the aliens reign supreme over mankind now. Humans are now relegated to the prison-like conditions of the chicken. However, some humans are crafty and clever, they manage to escape. How would you feel if the ever-so-smug alien overlords started telling jokes at your expense that started off with Why did the pitiful human cross the road? Suddenly, using chickens as the opening of a joke at their expense isn’t so funny anymore, is it?
Fortunately, there is hope for our fowl friends. Thanks to the ever-growing animal rights and vegan movements over the years, the welfare of the chicken is gradually starting to improve. Less harmful chemicals have been introduced into their diets, slaughters are starting to become more humane, living conditions have become more spacious and sanitary. Our food source is starting to have a better life. The question is now; what more do we do about it? We should definitely continue to improve the well-being of the chicken, of course. But an attitude shift is needed as well. The person using the line to start an anti-chicken joke ought to be reminded of the error of their ways. Change is hard but sometimes, change is necessary.
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