The Man, it’s a term that is thrown around a lot, yet few take the time or mental bandwidth to fully define it. This is understandable to a certain degree; after all, it’s pretty obvious who’s The Man in any given context (and yes, context matters a lot when defining who is The Man). However, some brackets need to be put around the term along with the accompanying behaviors and expectations. As someone who has been both referred to and has dubbed others as The Man, it’s time for me to give my semi-qualified take on what exactly constitutes being The Man.
While it may seem obvious, The Man is a term of great respect and deferential endearment bestowed upon one by others; whether by their classmates, colleagues, neighbors, friends, or mentees. Dubbing yourself as The Man is an automatic disqualifier to your status as The Man. “But Dan, I accomplished XYZ, and therefore get to call myself The Man!”. Wrong! You do not, under any circumstances, get to dub yourself as The Man. The GOAT is the one exception that proves this rule.
Being dubbed The Man, while ego-boosting for sure, comes with great responsibility. As mentioned in the last paragraph, others refer to you as The Man in a subconscious act of deference. as of a quiet sigh of relief-The Man is here! First and foremost, the buck stops at The Man. The Man is not allowed to make excuses, complain, or pass blame to others in any way, shape or form. Period! Failure to uphold this fundamental standard constitutes an automatic forfeiture of your status as The Man.
In a similar vein, The Man is required to take on the most difficult tasks, workouts or challenges without hesitation. One cannot be The Man and pawn off difficult jobs to others while at work, skip leg day, or shy away from taking the last shot of the game. Not only is The Man required to walk the path of difficulty when it is presented to him, he must enthusiastically do so, preferably, The Man is the first to volunteer for these arduous jobs. This is the key reason so much reverence and social leeway is given to The Man; it’s an implied social contract where The Man receives heaps of admiration in return coming through when it matters most. But hey, don’t just take my word for it. One example of The Man is Darrelle Revis; the star cornerback of the late 2000’s and 2010’s. He built his status as The Man by stifling the best receivers of his era, often humiliatingly so. It was only possible for him to become The Man because he shut down the proverbial Who’s Who.
This brings me to my next point; The Man must be absolutely competent in whatever context he has earned his status in, often unfailingly so. It is The Man who sets the performance standard for others to be benchmarked against. The Man cannot call for back-up and simply wait for the cavalry to arrive, he is the cavalry; after all, he’s The Man and others depend on him. In his prime, Revis was often left to cover the other team’s best receiver in man-to-man coverage for the entire game, with no safety rotating over to help him. This cemented his status as The Man. The rare failure will be tolerated, after all nobody is perfect, and that includes The Man. When The Man does occasionally come up short, he must both publicly own 100% of his failure and quicky devise (and deliver on!) a plan on how to prevent it from happening again. Thus, his peers who originally bestowed him the title of The Man shall judge if he is worthy of remaining The Man. However, multiple failures in short succession will call your status as The Man into question-deservedly so.
Whether In success or failure, The Man must be humble. Arrogance and being The Man is not a sustainable long-term mix, nor is using your status as The Man to bully or to otherwise get your way. Doing so will seriously detract against your status as The Man. This is a sure-fire way to ensure that someone will ruthlessly plot revenge against The Man. Arrogance hurts The Man in another way as well; having a big ego causes complacency, and complacency kills your status as The Man. After all, there is universally somebody grinding and if The Man gets lazy, he won’t be The Man for much longer, for he will eventually be deposed. In this vein, your status as The Man is always temporary.
Others constantly look to The Man, often when they find themselves in difficult spots. Therefore, The Man must exude confidence and competence. He must not only have these traits within himself, but he must also non-verbally spread these to others. There will be no slouching or leaning tiredly for The Man, for he must stand up straight with his shoulders back at all times. Humans are social creatures and will imitate The Man. Poor posture on the part of The Man will undoubtedly yield both sloth and negativity in everyone else. So stop it, already!
It takes a great deal of mental and emotional stability to be The Man. Being The Man can be stress-inducing and incredibly isolating. As mentioned earlier, The Man must set an uncompromising standard without complaining. While a lack of complaining is mandatory, often times The Man can take it too far and lead to suffering in silence if the responsibility of being The Man gnaws at him constantly. Is it fair? No. However, it is part of the terms and conditions of being The Man. Take it or leave it.
So as you can see, being called The Man is both a mark of high praise, and an assignment of much responsibility. Those with weak shoulders need not apply.
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