I have ranted in the past about phrases that need to die already, not to mention those that are vastly overused. Today’s target falls into both categories; get your shit together. The phrase makes a lot of assumptions, most of which are wrong, about the person it’s aimed at. It’s a phrase that is littered with judgment and a sense of superiority, regardless of context. So as always, make sure to sharpen your pitchforks.
While there seems to be a weak general consensus regarding the definition of the phrase, what all these definitions lack is any semblance of specifics. “But Dan, anyone can go on UrbanDictionary and post! You can’t form an argument around that!”, well my beloved dum-dum pop, the crowd-sourcing element of UrbanDictionary is what makes it a perfect tool for quickly gaining a consensus. However, if you’d like a more official source, here’s an official source, happy now? The explanations of the phrase lean towards being organized, however what’s lacking is context. Does it mean insurance and estate planning?, What about relationships and dating? Does it mean career advancement? No, seriously, what does it mean? The fact that many of these realms peddle the same generic advice (advice that everyone hates Jordan Peterson for saying) isn’t helping the phrase’s case for specificity. It’s a generic, low-effort shade-throw that can be slapped onto anyone or anything that the speaker has a bias towards. Gee, why do I have a weird deja vu feeling right now?
Let’s assume the best-case scenario with the use of that phrase. The phrase is commonly used as a comparison tool i.e Look at Steve, he has his shit together! When used in this common context, the phrase assumes a zero-sum game. While it’s beneficial for Steve in this hypothetical situation, Steve’s benefit comes at the direct cost of whoever is being compared to him. This isn’t by accident either, the most common positive use of that phrase is used not to compliment Steve. The phrase also assumes that Steve has his shit together in all aspects of his life, which is highly unlikely. In another positively-intended context, the phrase also has a common use of Let’s ask Steve, he has his shit together! This is followed immediately by the user of the phrase asking Steve to perform an onerous task that Steve would otherwise not want to do. The phrase, used in that context, assumes a level of willingness that is absolutely not guaranteed to exist.
Ok, I’m done being charitable; let’s go after how the phrase is actually used. As mentioned in the previous paragraph, Steve is an afterthought regarding the real purpose of the phrase, to tear down somebody else. This comes from a place of seething judgment and contempt for the person that is being compared to Steve. Who are we to judge? More importantly, what criteria is being used? The user of the phrase is very clearly using it as a weapon against whoever Steve’s counterpart is. The speaker of the phrase assumes a level of moral high-ground that is highly unlikely to actually exist. It’s easy to tell an unemployed recent graduate to get your shit together, however it is also just as easy for said new graduate to throw that phrase back, along the lines of You’re a hundred pounds overweight and your kids don’t respect you? Get your shit together! The phrase is incredibly tone-deaf as well because it neglects that we are all fighting an invisible battle. The weaponized phrase also strips away the agency of the person it’s being aimed at, as if nothing about the target’s life is by conscious choice. Saying You still aren’t married yet at [insert age here]? or You’re working 90 hours per week at that start-up job? followed by get your shit together man ignores the trade-offs and compromises that nearly all of us make. Used in that context, the phrase really just means you have habits and/or have made decisions that I disagree with. Funny, I don’t recall giving you a vote in my life decisions…
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