Just like the other day, I’ll answer your two most immediate questions right now; Yes, you read that right and yes, I’m serious. Lobbyists have a difficult and often thankless job, a job in which much of our modern society depends on. While I have some ideas for change, the cold reality is that it’s much more productive to adapt to the environment rather than just wishing sweeping overnight reform. As always, make sure to sharpen those pitchforks as I go over why lobbyists ought to receive social praise rather than be vilified.
Firstly, let’s address the obvious language bias that comes with the term. When someone is labeled an advocate, images of caring social workers, avid protestors or hospital administrators come to mind. Culturally, we revere these people and shower them with praise, while thanking them for all that they do. However, when the term lobbyist is thrown around, a much more sinister image appears in our heads; thoughts of unethical back-room deals and tacky networking get thrown around. However, we need to stop for one second and consider one piece of truth; they play in the same arena. The only difference between the two is who the party being advocated for is. Therefore, we need to destigmatize the term lobbyist. In a society where we supposedly value all parties following the same rules, it is two-faced to demonize one group for advocating for their best possible outcome and not another. We shouldn’t dislike tobacco lobbyists just as we shouldn’t dislike education activists for wanting to increasing funding for after-school programs. After all, everyone has the right to petition the government for a redress of grievances.
Secondly, lobbyists are underpaid for the work that they do. After all, these people make less than you might think, and Washington DC is pretty expensive. Relative to the knowledge required for the job, this pay is paltry. Comparatively, lawyers can make nearly twice as much for a having a similar skillset. This is a travesty because without lobbyists, much of the modern economy would be very different. Truthfully, one change I’d like to propose is that lobbyists receive some equity in their client’s ventures upon successful completion of agreed-upon metrics. Sales professionals are paid by performance, and it’s time that lobbyists are justly compensated relative to the value they create. One example that I’ve written about previously is that after the archaic and exclusionary federal law that prohibited sports betting was struck down, states quickly passed pro-gambling laws. This couldn’t have happened without lobbyists. In this regard, lobbyists are the ultimate revenue-generators.
Lobbying is a difficult job that has a high standard for success. Besides the formal experience, entry restrictions, and registration requirements (Registration? Who the hell decided that you need a government license to exercise a First Amendment right? How is that constitutional?), lobbyists need to absolutely ooze soft skills. In fact, many of the skills honed by stand-up comedy would transfer well to lobbying. Someone who is highly analytical but is a poor communicator would not last long as a lobbyist. On the other end of that spectrum, A serial schmoozer who is slow to pick up on the needs of their client and the ins-and-outs of their client’s industry will not last long either. To survive in that grueling career path, one is absolutely required to master both verbal and analytical intelligence. Suffice it to say that the mere pundit (eww…pundits) couldn’t last a single day as a lobbyist. Pundits are low-IQ morons who only posses surface-level knowledge (if that) of whatever topic they’re spewing about, while the lobbyist is Teddy Roosevelt’s The Man in the Arena.
However, there are more soft skills required to be a lobbyist than those I mentioned in the stand-up comedy article. The ability to quickly figure out, prioritize, and then act on the most important needs of the client is paramount to advancing their (and indirectly, your) agenda. For example, a hypothetical firearm company is going to care far more about getting favorable access and personal carry laws passed than they would about getting a tax rate on their raw materials lowered; one is vital to their business, while the other is a nice-to-have.
With prioritization, the ability to negotiate and compromise (the C-word? Gasp!) goes hand-in-hand with that. What many starry-eyed idealists do not realize is that you will not get everything that you want. The politician/ group of politicians the lobbyist is bargaining with all have a responsibility to their constituents back home. Even politicians who support the client’s industry cannot/will not simply roll over and give the client everything that they want. Being able to recognize which side has the most leverage and reaching a mutual deal that sacrifices non-essentials in favor of the bigger picture is a crucial skill. No one will hire the lobbyist who gave up the number one priority in favor of priority number six.
Networking is also a vital skill that the lobbyist needs to master. Having a solid relationship with elected officials on differing sides of the political aisle, as well as private-sector executives will assuredly make life for the lobbyist just a little bit easier. A large part of the job is being able to get a foot in the door and that scares a lot of people away from similar jobs such as sales. Relationships aren’t built overnight but instead over time; lobbying is no exception. This fact is missed by many starry-eyed idealists; one cannot just start pushing right away before building any social capital.
As I’ve written about previously, there is nothing wrong with being a starry-eyed idealist. However, society cannot run on starry-eyed idealism alone. If it could, then grassroots movements would be far more effective than they currently are. Don’t get me wrong, fiery passion is great-in fact it’s occasionally required. However, there is a level of cold ruthlessness and a calculating mind that needs to come along for the ride as well, and a lot of young activists seem to miss that point. Thus, professional advocacy is absolutely essential in helping to create your ideal society, and there is nothing wrong with that or with the people who do this noble work.
Have you thanked a lobbyist today?
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