Many writers have aspirations of hosting Ted Talks, seeing their names atop The New York Times bestseller list, getting Oprah Winfrey’s stamp of approval or other traditional measures of success. However, my grandest aspiration as a writer is none of that. As I’ve touched on before, in the realm of non-fiction, it is consequences that make the author in my opinion. Therefore, my goal is to get one of my books banned in at least a dozen states.
I have no interest in The New York Times Bestseller list, mostly because it’s a sham, and you can buy your way onto the list. Books are meant to be bought by people who will, you know, actually read them. However, buying your way onto the list entails buying thousands of copies of your own book to warehouse like some crap MLM product. Admittedly, I also still haven’t figured out who exactly is my target audience (besides myself) or even what kind of non-fiction writer I am. However, I’ve learned that I’m not a mass-market writer; my tone is too aggressive though I have absolutely no interest in deburring the edges. As Banksy once quipped art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable. While I do not look at what I do as art, I do follow the general idea; uncomfortable topics need to be broached, and my books do plenty of that. The type of author who is pining for a nod from the NYT is the not the type of author who is willing to rattle the cage.
A lot of the reason I look up to The Man Himself James Altucher is because he has challenged so many of the career-related notions of writing. He’s shouted from the rooftops, and demonstrated, that self-publishing can be financially viable and sell a lot of copies. At some point, I’ll likely have to self-publish and I’m okay with that. A large part of me isn’t willing to pull punches with my writing, and authors who are jockeying for success in the more well-trodden sense will have to pull a lot of their punches.
I aim to accomplish my dream of getting widely banned by telling the objective truth, albeit with my trademark aggressive style of writing to the point that an administrator decides to ban my book. In both The Case Against Memes and in my current side project Assholes of History, my writing is forceful; I refuse to hold back when I’m delivering my point. Much like Eminem did in one of his silver-screen rap battles, I state my bias in the opening chapters of both books, so as to take the power away from such accusations later. It’s one thing to get people to sharpen their pitchforks over telling a joke; comedians do it for a living. It’s another matter entirely to get people to sharpen their pitchforks without using humor to soften the blow, especially when the message is supported by cold data and reputable sources.
Mostly, it’s for the satisfaction that my presentation of the truth that will make decision-makers so uncomfortable that they choose to bury my books instead of letting the youth read them. In a way, banning a non-fiction book is a tacit concession of defeat; they can’t win in a straight up battle of ideas, so they’ll just ensure the discussion doesn’t happen. I won’t lie, the financial perks would be pretty sweet, after all, I’m an unapologetic capitalist. However, the banning itself is the real prize for me. Also, unlike the NYT list where it can hypothetically be bought, a banning comes about when an organization poses a challenge to your book. Thus, a pre-requisite to getting banned is living rent-free inside the heads of those who despise your writing. That level of loathing is a sign of genuinely striking a nerve. To get your book banned is a much harder thing to buy than a best-seller status.
Keep an eye out for Yours Truly to appear in the Banned Books section of your local bookstore in the coming years.
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