As I’ve written about previously, I lead a double-life. On one hand, I’m an unemployed sad sorry excuse of a nonfiction writer, but on the other hand, I’m a superhero capable of seeing the future. However, I’ve learned more about myself and my power since writing the first article, and it’s time to make some changes. As with the last NostradAmish article, I’ll make suggestions on how to make the eventual Marvel movie about my life as interesting as possible. Quick, somebody call Bob Iger! Of course, to do this I’ll have to venture on a journey of improving my real-life skills as well.
I’ve noticed that using my keen ability of foresight is virtually always accompanied with my tendency to say the quiet parts out loud. Conversations or texting threads in which I’m a part of rarely feature an exchange where I’m not using the superpower. I’ll blatantly call out the other parties next phrase or plan of action, given the impressively-high hit rate of my power called FutureSense (a name way cooler than foresight). The other party often responds defiantly, if nothing more than to spite me. This overt defiance of FutureSense only proves its existence in the first place; if I was frequently wrong, then nobody would react in such a way. Other times, the once-lively thread will fall silent, which is also a sign that I said the quiet part out loud. In a way, FutureSense allows me to read the thoughts of those I’m interacting with; actions and sentences are essentially just thoughts manifested.
However, the routine use of-or worse yet, overuse of- FutureSense in its current form has drawbacks. In the $200 million Marvel film adaptation of NostradAmish, the namesake character hits low points in the movie where he realizes the shortcomings of FutureSense and works tirelessly to overcome them. Yes, NostradAmish will work to overcome these flaws; nobody likes a Mary Sue. A bearded Adam Driver (and not Bradley Cooper as previously stated, because holy fuck did my readers sharpen their pitchforks over that casting choice!) slowly realizes the weaknesses of FutureSense through both interactions with those close to him and through failed heroic deeds (a bit of creative freedom is needed; after all, this is Hollywood!). As you might have deduced from the previous paragraph, there is a social stigma against using FutureSense. I’ve noticed that those in my inner circle get annoyed when I openly use FutureSense. The allure of FutureSense is strong; it’s an incredible power that I/ in-character Adam Driver worked tirelessly to hone, and its tendency to sway discussions and influence outcomes is indeed mighty.
The Marvel writers can conjure up a scenario in which Adam Driver’s use of FutureSense lands NostradAmish into hot water because he didn’t disconnect FutureSense from verbal callouts. This can be a major decision point for Adam Driver in the NostradAmish movie, he can either use FutureSense less, and make no effort to detach FutureSense from the seemingly reflexive need to call out bullshit, or he can maintain his current use of FutureSense and train to use it in stealth mode. Adam Driver could be shown toiling in mental anguish as he carefully mulls over this important career-related decision of NostradAmish; stealth or sheath. Driver could have a flashback sequence; all those hours spent reading Freakonomics, watching film of the opposing team as a high school football player, and playing Metal Gear Solid. NostradAmish on the silver screen will arrive to the conclusion as the sequence hovers over younger me/younger Adam Driver controlling Snake past a guard undetected; stealth! Adam Driver will then have a training montage on him honing the stealth aspects of FutureSense. This can include re-reading The Art of War. Sun Tzu preaches that one should never interrupt an enemy while he is making a mistake and broadcasting the use of FutureSense flies in the face of this ancient wisdom. Adam Driver uses this insight to further hone FutureSense into an undetectable power. Man, I can’t wait to see this movie!
Now let’s snap back to reality; I sure as hell don’t plan on toning down the use of FutureSense any time soon. As implied in the first article, I’ve worked too hard to gain the power of FutureSense to not use it as often as possible. Furthermore, I refuse to rein myself in solely because pigeons can’t appreciate the greatness of an eagle. Though, I’d be wise to follow in Snake’s footsteps and evade detection. While life is depressingly short and I often err on the side of not leaving anything unsaid on account of having zero guarantees on a next time, there is a benefit to keeping the use of FutureSense under wraps. Besides, not every discussion needs to be swayed; the more people talk-and reveal- the more powerful FutureSense becomes (as we should’ve learned in math class, more data is better data). It will take some skilled screenwriters to depict the impact of data never gathered would have on NostradAmish and his FutureSense. Perhaps a scene in which Adam Driver flashes back to his STEM student days and recounting the need for more data in order to make a more robust scientific conclusion! The thought of missing out on data gathering could give him a level of anxiety not seen on the big screen since his former fictional grandfather.
There’s another large drawback with the routine use of FutureSense; I run the risk of becoming predictable. While nobody I know has FutureSense, that doesn’t necessarily mean that there isn’t another FutureSense wielder out there. Earlier in this article I said that I wanted to use it as often as possible, though that doesn’t mean that I can feasibly use it 100% of the time either. The big-budget movie could feature a scene in which Adam Driver uses FutureSense all willy-nilly (yes, I just unironically used the term willy-nilly despite being a grown man; deal with it), and a villain learns his habits because of it. The villain uses their intel to get the drop on NostradAmish, thus momentarily beating Adam Driver! Luckily, the suave Star Wars emperor uses the next scene to look himself in the mirror (and I mean that literally, since Hollywood loves heavy-handed metaphors!) and comes to the realization that he cannot rely solely on FutureSense 100% of the time. The producers can even ret-con a scene in which NostradAmish witnessed T’Challa fight without the Black Panther and uses that memory as a source of inspiration.
To keep moviegoers glued to the edge of their seats, the filmmakers can use a bit of creative liberty to make difficult scenarios for Adam Driver playing NostradAmish. Driver, while expertly wielding FutureSense, comes across a villain that he cannot use the power on (dun dun dun!)! This might be because the villain isn’t acting rationally or is erratic in thoughts and behaviors hence rendering all of NostradAmish’s FutureSense worthless. A future entry into the NostradAmish film series could be NostradAmish versus an evil AI version of himself, that learns habits faster than his human brain possibly can, not to mention being able to store and recall vastly more information than him. The possibilities are endless!
As you can see, both myself in real life and Adam Driver playing NostradAmish on the big screen have some work to do. FutureSense is a fantastic power, though that doesn’t give me/Kylo Ren license to get careless either. After the hard work, only one question will remain…
How many awesome Hollywood parties will I get invited to?
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