Before we know it, Daylight Savings Time (DST) will rear its ugly head once more, thus forcing Americans to change their clocks. My dislike of DST isn’t a particularly hot take either, as only 28% of Americans polled actually like switching their clocks back and forth (…weirdos). However, the phenomenon remains for one reason and one reason only; radicalization. So, as I’ve written before, allow me to answer your two immediate questions right now. First, you read that correctly. And second: yes, I’m serious. Essentially, it is your fault why we still have to perform this song-and-dance twice per year. I can hear the pitchforks sharpening already!
It should come as no surprise that Congress is getting lazier and lazier. However, raw productivity is not a rock-solid measuring stick to use either. After all, I aim for a nation with less government regulation, not more of it. Therefore, Congress shouldn’t become an assembly line in which bills are churned out to meet a quota. However, DST came about through an act of Congress in 1966 and yet again in 2005. Therefore, no matter which flavor of radicalized President that you prefer, a simple Executive Order will not be enough. So as much as I dislike congressional intervention, we need congressional intervention to end DST.
I’m not just waxing poetic here either; DST causes an uptick in fatal traffic accidents while also driving up the rates of suicide, depression and substance abuse. Given that our nation loves to grandstand on the various issues pointed out in the latter link, there ought to be a lot of political capital dedicated to eliminating this utterly needless root cause. I hope you’re sitting down for this, but grandstanding and actually doing something are two very different concepts; we’ve done a lot of grandstanding but have committed little to the issue of changing our clocks.
The thing is, both flavors of radicalization can easily fire up their base to support ending DST if they had even an ounce of creativity. Radicalized Republicans should care deeply about the change in clocks because it directly impacts third-shift and rotating night-shift employees (ask me how I know that!). Given that third-shift is predominately staffed by middle-aged white men and that is the demographic that overwhelmingly votes Republican, the radicalized Republican Party should be giving way more of a shit that their base is under attack (terminology they love using!) than they currently do. Cue the triggered red canaries. Similarly, radicalized Democrats have a dog in this fight as well. Given that DST contributes to sleep deprivation, and the demographics of sleep deprivation are not evenly applied, it’s pretty easy to see why radicalized Democrats should care about this topic After all, if it’s one thing that the modern extreme Democrat hates, it’s inequality of outcome. To quote the far-left pundit John Oliver (eww…pundits) “Black and Brown communities are disproportionally impacted”. Thus, we may now also cue the triggered blue canaries. As even Ray Charles could see, both flavors of radicalization have a mutually aligned interest in pandering to their core base and, oh yeah, solving this problem via working together.
However, the last two words of the previous paragraph underscore the problem. Each flavor of radicalization increasingly views the other side as lazy, unintelligent, immoral, and other negative traits. Put another way, we’d rather suffer with a broken DST system that hurts us all rather than work with someone with a differing worldview. Admittedly, I’m conflating the typical voter with the typical member of Congress, though that distinction doesn’t matter much anyways. In fact, a former Congressman penned an article saying that it’s possible for each side to work together. Yeah, no shit. It’s kind of their lucrative jobs to do so. Yet the elected radicals have a hard enough time avoiding a shutdown, let alone actually trying to, you know, actually solve a fucking problem.
It’s easy for us to paint the narrative that it’s D.C causing this mess, the typical American is uninvolved, but I am here to unabashedly left-swipe that 75-IQ argument. In case some of you slept through grade-school social studies class; representatives and senators are elected via popular vote. That means that We the People, keep putting these radicals in power. Now, some may blame special interests and lobbyists (I won’t entertain lobbyist shade-throws) though that line of thinking overlooks a crucial fact; the candidates will say what they need to say and champion whatever cause they need to champion in order to get elected and win favor. Therefore, if there is a critical mass of Americans that want Universal Basic Income or don’t want their kids finding out that gay people exist, then these performative bureaucrats will keep dancing to those tunes. Hypothetically, if we as a people de-radicalized then we’d gradually see the legislative branch become more bipartisan.
But who am I kidding; I don’t want the nation to de-radicalize at all! If America de-radicalizes, then I won’t be able to openly manipulate passionate radicals into serving in my fleet of canaries. Moreover, if America de-radicalized, I’d sell less copies of my book. Personally, I’m willing to keep changing my clocks twice per year in order to maintain my fleet of informants, thereby ensuring that I do zero work in keeping myself politically informed (I’m basically a middle-class Tim Ferriss!). Blatantly talking about a plan and still having it work is not Bond villain-esque; it’s more akin to Nick Saban.
Want to prove me wrong out of spite? De-radicalize. Don’t want to change your clocks? De-radicalize.
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