As I’ve discussed before, I’ll answer your two immediate questions right now: yes, you read that correctly, and yes, I am serious. Selling alcohol at youth sports games (and for the purposes of this article, that term will include high school sports as well) will teach the athletes a lot of important lessons, regardless of if they wind up pursuing athletic careers or not. I can hear the pitchforks sharpening already! As always, this is a thought experiment, and I don’t condone breaking any laws, nor do I condone children drinking alcohol (obviously).
“Well Dan, some adults would go to the games and drink too much!” an enraged reader of mine would say. And to that I say So what? The lack of impulse control of some onlookers is not a valid reason in my opinion (an opinion? Gasp!) to take away the opportunity to sell alcohol at youth games. The same exact risk exists at the collegiate and professional levels, and nobody makes such an argument. In fact, Anheuser-Busch has had a cozy multi-year relationship with the NFL, and I don’t view that as a bad thing.
“Well Dan, some of these intoxicated adults will inevitably get belligerent at the youth sports game!” the pitchfork-sharpener will eventually retort. To be fair, they are absolutely right. However, these kids will eventually be in the presence of an intoxicated person anyways, so I’m not sure why youth sports are some sort of hallowed ground. For the very limited few that wind up playing sports after high school, they’ll move into a collegiate/semi-pro/professional sports environment that will definitely have drunken fans at the games. The kids who are serious about their athletic futures will need to learn how to deal with drunk fans in the stands; and no, not like Ron Artest (or whatever the hell he calls himself now). Even for the kids who don’t wind up playing after graduation (read: the vast majority of them), they will need to learn what intoxicated adults are like and how to properly cope, whether at the Thanksgiving dinner table, a night out with friends, or in the workplace. Besides, seeing a grown-up that has clearly had a few too many might have the hidden benefit of scaring some kids away from alcohol abuse. There is some utility in holding up a negative example in a don’t be like this guy context, and an intoxicated adult acting like Randy Marsh would absolutely drive that point home. Youth sports wouldn’t be alone in their use of anti-role models; the NFL does it too, so I don’t see why youth sports shouldn’t use the same tactic (even if it is indirectly).
Selling alcohol at youth sports games has another benefit as well: revenue. Yes, this is going to be another capitalism-in-sports discussion. In case you haven’t noticed; youth sports can be expensive to play, and the country is in a cost-of-living crisis right now. Therefore, there are a lot of would-be participants that are priced off of the field. Thankfully, we have a magical way of boosting revenues for youth sports leagues that is easily accessible and has mass appeal. The best part about it is that some drinks you can charge extra for and still sell. The money generated from alcohol sales can certainly be used to subsidize the entry costs of lower-income children. Therefore, if you are against the sale of alcohol at youth sports games, then you are indirectly preventing poorer youths from playing-and forming valuable friendships as they collectively learn life lessons.
“Dan, we can’t do this! It’s completely immoral!” the same angry reader will respond. To that I say, on what basis? Many high school sports games already sell unhealthy junk foods, and in case you haven’t noticed, obesity is killing this country. Seriously, obesity kills way more people in this country than alcohol abuse does. Youth sports aren’t the only venues that sell unhealthy crap; theme parks and movie theatres also sell similar foods as well…and they serve alcohol. Frankly, the only reason anyone is even resisting this idea is because we have this puritanical notion that sports, especially youth sports, ought not to be corrupted with the realities of the world we live in. If you wanted a writer to enable you to continue living in a fantasyland, then you came to the wrong fucking author.
“Well Dan, it’s illegal!” the same perpetually pissed protestor will profess (yay alliteration!). Historically, that hasn’t always been the strongest argument. Besides, basing your sense of morality on what is currently legal is a shaky foundation. Laws can be changed or repealed, sometimes easily if there is a swing in the party make-up of the legislative branch (shout out to the radicals!). Seriously, a well-timed and well-place donation to the right candidate, a partisan judge’s ruling, or some salt-of-the earth lobbyists could easily change a law. So, with that line of thinking, if the law were to change regarding the sale of alcohol on school grounds during sports games, would you blindly support it then? No? I didn’t think so…
So far, I’ve focused only on debunking arguments against the sale of alcohol at youth games. Now, we can focus on the benefits of it. Besides the afore-mentioned revenue perks of selling alcohol, we need to remember one of the core functions of alcohol: a social lubricant. Chances are, there are lots of parents present at the game. Alcohol consumption can facilitate interactions between parents who otherwise might not have talked with each other. “Dan, don’t be ridiculous!”, the persistent-yet-irritated reader will say. What exactly is ridiculous about that? Many parents hosting a children’s birthday party often have an adult cooler that is stuffed to the brim with alcohol; ditto for family/neighborhood/July 4th/Memorial Day barbeques as well. So, clearly, we are okay with adults consuming alcohol-sometimes copious amounts- in the presence of children as a society because actions speak louder than words. Assuming the host is obeying the law, then we can safely deduce that alcohol is there to facilitate social interactions between the adults and not the kids. We’ve all met adults that will show up to social events because there is alcohol available, so denying alcohol’s effectiveness is just absurd.
Either drinking around the kids is okay or it isn’t: society needs to pick a side and stick to it.
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