Nearly every publication will have some sort of Year in Review piece in the dead week of December (you know, post-Christmas but pre-New Years). I’ve decided that I’ll do the same thing, except for examining cultural trends and world events (I’ll leave that to the canaries), I’ll instead turn the focus inwards. In this article, I’ll focus on the articles that I wrote in 2023 (excluding my second book) that I’m most proud of. Consider this article as a sort of directors’ commentary, as I’ll list out each article and give a short blurb about why I enjoyed writing that specific piece. Folks who read all of my work in 2023 or who expect my usual writing style should probably just skip this one. Without further ado, here’s my 2023 highlight reel (in no particular order):
- Legalize Home Defense Landmines was an article that I liked writing because of the myth-busting that it entailed. I smashed the typical conservative wet dream of shooting a burglar in the middle of the night, as most red canaries refuse to acknowledge the fact that most home invasions occur in the middle of the day. I enjoyed presenting my logic that landmines would cut down on prison recidivism, and would absolutely foil an attempted robbery if triggered. Call it brutal if you’d like, but you can’t call it ineffective.
- Fermi Problems: How Much Would Taylor Swift Make On OnlyFans? This was a Fermi problem that I truly enjoyed; I haven’t had this much fun with a goofy math problem since college. I went so long without eating during this piece that I nearly went hypoglycemic. Just before I hit “Publish” I re-examined one of my base assumptions and provided an alternative answer. Both estimates had me damn near falling out of my chair. You simps need to calm down…
- I’m Not Your Dancing Monkey, LinkedIn… was an article that I hate-wrote because it just needed to be said! BlueReddit loves to ask experts for free labor, not realizing (or worse, giving a shit) about the fact that they are asking experts to give up their most valued resource, their billable hours, for nothing. This article was one of the very few that I wrote in 2023 that the AI article had zero beef with (R.I.P. Ray Liotta!). Speaking of…
- Lessons From an AI Bender was fun at first in a slot-machine kind of way. However, I started to notice a pattern in the responses it gave me. While playing Break the Bot is inherently a fun game, it’s more of a secondary bonus to writing a thought-provoking yet problematic piece.
- Bad Logic: A Thought Experiment is a funnier piece that I enjoyed writing, mostly because I got to publicly mock absolutely batshit takes. I love my local Thai restaurant, and I give absolutely zero fucks whatsoever about what a discount tire company thinks about them. Speaking of discount tires…
- My Michelin Rite of Passage was an article in which I chronicled my journey from blissfully ignorant teenager to battle-scarred yet world-ready adult. It was one of my longest pieces of the year, and the AI bot outrightly refused to give me feedback on it. I have two guesses as to why: the bot must have a hard limit on overt violence, or I surpassed a length limit. Either way, I had fun sharing this part of my past.
- Ms. Piggy’s New Partner: Andrew Tate was an idea that the AI bot really didn’t like, though I had a ton of fun with. The best part about the idea is that it’s all based in reality; nothing I suggested was off-brand for The Muppets track record, Andrew Tate’s views on women or Miss Piggy’s shallow character. Go ahead and sharpen your pitchforks, but I stand behind this idea. Kermit deserves better anyways…
- Legalize Alcohol at Youth Sports Games was an article that I attracted a ton of ire for, both in cyberspace and in real-life. However, nothing changes the fact that if your little chip off the old block is indeed going to go D1 (hint: don’t bet on it), then they will have to tolerate being near obnoxious drunk fans. Besides funneling the proceeds from booze sales back towards the youth sports leagues is a great idea! I found myself at a youth sports tournament after this article went up; the snack stand sold all sorts of unhealthy foods that will drastically shorten my life, but fuck me for wanting an IPA…
- Speaking of what’s best for the youth of the nation, Let The Kids Margin Trade was an article that I had a blast with because I got to mock an argument that wasn’t thought through. While I have nothing against kids opening savings accounts, nor against teaching them the value of saving, the lessons learned from margin trading would be far more impactful.
- How to Fix Gambling was a financial article that was aimed at grown-ups, though it was no less fun to write. When Disney wants to eliminate friction, nobody bats an eye, but when I recommend that The House does it, suddenly we start sharpening pitchforks? Pick one side of the fence and stick to it! I’m sure that The House would make a great landlord…
- Sex Work is Real Work. Here’s Why… is an article that was an absolute banger (hehe, get it?) to write about because I enjoy hitting polite society in areas that are a bit too close to home. Their jobs are shitty in many of the same ways that the rest of us have shitty jobs! It’s time to get Drunk Uncle Sam out of our bedrooms…and out of our strip clubs…and off the street corners…and off the park benches…and out of the back of a shady dive bar at 3am…and out of, well, you get the picture by now…
- Speaking of the modern workplace, it’s time to Bring Back Dilbert! I feel that if Scott Adams really wanted to, he could easily re-boot his old series back into an animated format. There’s a lot that has changed since the 90’s and frankly, a lot that can be made fun of! Mr. Adams, give me a ring if you want to talk business sometime…
- I swear, this is the last workplace-themed article. The F-Word to Never Use at Work was an article that I got a lot of whispered praise for. Whispered praise is the best praise because that’s how you know that you struck The Oil Well of Truth. Nervous-look-over-the-shoulder praise is praise that the feedback giver delivers because they fear retaliation due to how true it is. Though, not everyone was happy; a former shitstain employer of mine was greatly pissed (assuming the grapevine was honest with me) yet they stayed silent. They couldn’t speak out because they’d publicly out themselves as the abusers that they truly were/still are. That screeching noise isn’t a pitchfork being sharpened, it’s the sound of executives’ teeth grinding. Ask me how many fucks I give…
- I’ll consolidate two articles into this one, but An Ode to Toby Fox and An Ode to Hideo Kojima were both open love letters (no homo!) to my favorite game developers. Both of these titans changed the industry, and only a fool would argue otherwise.
- While I’m on the topic of Hideo Kojima masterpieces. What Effective STEM Education and Metal Gear Solid 5 Have In Common was fun because I connected dots that most people wouldn’t have thought of. My Biochemistry professor and her TA were both pretty fucking useless, but the here’s the problem, solve it anyway you wish format was cool as hell. It was also fun controlling Kiefer Sutherland in similar scenarios. There’s no denying that both situations mimic the real world.
- This dovetails nicely with The True Value of a STEM Degree, in which I posited about why STEM degrees are actually valuable. Nobody gives a shit if you can calculate the area underneath a curve; they do however give a shit if you’re able to prioritize your time and be objective. Understanding the scientific method helps a lot as well.
- On Being “The Man” is an article that I stand behind because I got to clarify a lot of ground rules. Using examples from various facets of life, I enjoyed making it crystal-clear that being The Man is just as much a load to carry as it as a title of mass adoration. Eyes wide open…
- I’m proud of the leaps that I made as a writer this year, and I’ve Noticed A Trend was the article in which I answered the fundamental question of Who am I as a writer? It took me longer than first anticipated (nearly article 150, when I thought it would be closer to 100) but once that lightbulb went off, I haven’t looked back since.
- My writing career got another boost when I Survived The Firing Squad…And Then Got Accepted as an official member of Write Club. After a few subsequent meetings, I’ve realized that I’m the true rookie of the room, and I’m totally okay with that. My second book has gotten a lot of tweaking as a result of Write Club and being able to stare down the barrel of a public critique has earned me their respect. Alright, that’s enough of breaking the first rule of Write Club…
- It might be a bit redundant to list this, but I’ll do it anyways; My Year of Quitting summed up the fact that my internal bullshit meter broke off at zero in 2023. BlueReddit, nonsensical fitness goals, and a seat on a sinking ship were some of the things that I quit in 2023. Something needs to either faithfully serve me or it’s ruthlessly getting cut out of my life…
- In Critique of Ryan Holiday was a fun article to write. Beyond the fact that it simply needed to be said that Ryan Holiday lacks innovation, it also revealed another important lesson; getting outside of myself. A wise 26-year-old woman (ahh, that line works every time!) from my last job gave me some advice about my book recommendations and my writing that I foolishly blew off at first. If she wasn’t such a saint, she could have easily had the last laugh as I wound up learning those lessons the hard way. The article is just as much An Ode to Susan as it was The Ryan Holiday Pinata Party.
- I dispensed out some sage wisdom of my own as I dropped The Art of Asking Questions. It served to showcase my thought process when asking folks difficult-but-fair. I won’t lie, I also had fun with all of The Matrix references.
Generally, I am proud of both the width of topics that I explored this year, and in the depth in which I went to in each article. I also stepped up my image game in the last quarter of 2023 as I bought a nice sketch pad, some rulers and some colored pencils. The artwork for the Michelin Man article revealed to me how the limited use of color can make a big difference. Sometimes, I enjoy making the artwork and then writing the article. There’s nothing wrong with occasionally having your dessert first!
I tallied up the article count and (not including this one) I wrote 145 articles this year. This pace was an average of one article every 2.5 days, which made sense for the most part. These numbers even include a 47-day break that I took to write Assholes of History. My pace slowed a bit as I got a new job, and hence my routine changed. However, these last few weeks I’ve gotten the rhythm down-pat, and not writing simply isn’t an option; it was never an option.
I propose a toast; to pissed-off bots and razor-sharp pitchforks…
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