The NFL and sex work; two things that America loves to an almost religious extent. These two seemingly unrelated things aren’t as far apart as one might realize. For decades, the NFL has attempted to maintain a squeaky-clean public relations campaign, even as many players struggle with legal issues during the offseason. However, society is changing and views on sex work are gradually softening. Today, I’m not here to talk about the players but instead I’m here to talk about the other marketable product on the field; a branded deal with OnlyFans and the league’s cheerleaders.
First, to state my assumptions. I’ll start off by assuming that every female OnlyFans creator (and potential OnlyFans creator) will be posting nudes. “But Dan, that isn’t always the case!” is a retort that I’ll get. Yes, I’m aware of that, much in the same way that I’m aware that McDonalds sells salads; we all know that’s not why you’re really there. I’ll also assume that society is as progressive and open-minded as they pretend to be in public. After all, you’ll practice what you preach…right? Lastly, I’ll assume that participation in this is optional; as much as I believe in incentives and market forces, I also believe in bodily autonomy.
Essentially, my idea is that instead of discouraging their cheerleaders from using OnlyFans, NFL teams actively participate in the process. This can be done by not only allowing and encouraging their cheerleaders to post on OnlyFans, but by licensing their logo. Yes, you read that right and yes, I’m serious. The use of the team logo on the bottom corner of each photo or as a watermark would certainly drive more traffic to the cheerleader’s page (doubly so for prestigious teams, such as the Dallas Cowboys).
However, use of the logo wouldn’t come for free. The NFL team would naturally take a percentage of the cheerleader’s OnlyFans earnings. After all, they are using the official team’s logo, thus the team is entitled to some compensation. Many NFL teams already have photographers, PR teams and schedulers on staff, so the infrastructure to provide the support needed to run a profitable OnlyFans page is certainly already there.
Furthermore, the cheerleaders that opt to use OnlyFans should have their OnlyFans handle printed on the back of their uniform, in the same way a player’s name is on the back of a jersey. Below the OnlyFans handle, instead of a number like a player, would be a QR code that, once scanned, would lead directly to their OnlyFans page. In the case of half-tops worn by cheerleaders, the QR code can be printed on the butt pocket of the short-shorts instead. This would effectively serve as an in-person billboard. Fans sitting close enough to the field (read: fans with enough disposable income to throw at OnlyFans) will be able to take a picture and/or scan the QR code during the game. TV cameras pointed at the cheerleader’s would catch a glimpse of the cheerleader’s OnlyFans handle/QR code as well.
Now it’s time to address the pitchfork wielding mob and the judgmental AI bot who will claim that this is exploitative and dehumanizing, cheerleaders are people with feelings and not just a pile of meat. Sorry, we have clearly shown over the last several decades that we are okay with needlessly sexualizing women’s bodies on autumn Sundays. NFL cheerleaders also get used as marketing props, thus we as a society and the NFL is clearly okay with their presence as silent eye-candy.
Moreover, anyone who opposes this idea, it can be argued, is against the diversification of women’s income and hence opposes female financial and bodily autonomy. That’s right, I just used the women’s empowerment angle against the bowl-cut Karen’s. In case you are not aware, NFL cheerleaders make less than minimum wage, so they could clearly use the money. Anyone opposing this idea is seemingly okay with the sub-standard status quo.
Here’s another thing; cheerleaders are already doing it anyways, thus the NFL can embrace the increasingly sex-positive nature of our society and embrace this cultural shift rather than harshly condemning it. The NFL has served as a lightning rod of positive changes in the lives of American women on various issues, such as cancer screenings and domestic violence, so this would be nothing new in that aspect. Ready for more uncomfortable truths? No? Well, you’re getting it anyways (#DeShaunWatson): many female athletes from other sports are already supplementing their incomes via OnlyFans. Competitors in the WNBA to female MMA fighters and female Olympians all use the platform to pad their bank accounts, so anyone claiming otherwise is just living in a fantasy land.
And while we’re being honest, this is good for NFL teams as well. The income generated from these OnlyFans accounts would flow in year-round, rather than just during the season. This provides one more way for NFL teams to diversify their portfolio holdings; a team subjected to strain due to low attendance, poor TV ratings and lackluster merchandise sales can bank on that sweet OnlyFans revenue. Clearly, this is a win-win for all parties involved.
“To succeed, stay out in front of change”-Sam Walton, founder of Wal-Mart.
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