Essentially, nearly every time I’m at a crossroads in my life, the situation triggers a Metal Gear Solid style dream. Unlike Albino Majin Buu, these dreams run the gamut from being mildly entertaining to downright gruesome. Thus, I’m going to have some fun today by sharing some of my various Metal Gear Solid themed dreams over the years.
One third-person dream took place on the various platforms of Mother Base from Metal Gear Solid V. I was playing the role of Venom Snake, as I was donned head-to-toe in a sneaking suit and had a rifle strapped to my back. All I could hear was Kazuhira Miller’s disembodied voice give me the order of Infiltrate Mother Base and take out the target. He also added that how you do it is up to you, Boss. The Seychelles were being pounded by a heavy rainstorm as I made my approach at night. Just like one of the in-game missions, a hostile force had occupied my base, and I had to take it back. I had jumped onto one of the overhead ductworks and shimmied myself over to the control room. However, I was spotted by a sentry, and was quickly riddled full of bullets as my lifeless body smacked the platform below. The next thing I knew was that I was back to where I had started as I faded back into existence. It was as if I was being told to try again; like I was Venom Snake, yet there was someone else holding the controller. I attempted various other methods of sneaking towards the Command Room of Mother Base. However, nearly every time I got close, I was discovered. Each time I was found, I was gruesomely killed via a different method. Ultimately, I didn’t achieve my objective.
Another dream took place in a future of mine. I was in my forties, balding, fifty pounds overweight, a heavy smoker, living in my hometown and stuck in an abysmal relationship. Suddenly, I get a call from a disembodied voice. The voice told me that my immediate assistance was needed. The next thing I knew, I was on a strategic plane, similar to the one that Old Snake used in Metal Gear Solid IV and donned in similar pre-deployment attire. I was told that my mission was to infiltrate Shadow Moses (of Metal Gear Solid I fame) and to stop the terrorists from launching Metal Gear. The next thing I knew, I was inside the hangar of the first building. I had approached the elevator and hit the button, though the elevator took an agonizingly long time to arrive. To aid my stealth approach, I took out my silenced gun and shot out a camera. However, this only summoned a swarm of guards to investigate (anyone who played MGSV should be familiar with this mechanic). Sensing trouble, I went into the corner and hid underneath the cardboard box. However, my disguise didn’t work nearly as well as I thought it would (not everyone can be Solid Snake), and an enemy sentry removed the box. Time slowed again (Reflex Mode, courtesy of MGSV) and I attempted some CQC by grabbing the barrel of the enemy’s rifle and using it against him. However, I was a split-second too slow; the enemy sentry shot me at point-blank range. Dream over…
Another time, I was dropped in from a chopper as many MGSV missions start, but this time, it was to an old walled village somewhere in the heart of Africa. I was given the task to take some of the Diamond Dogs and to reinforce the village; the Skulls were coming over the horizon and we needed to keep the village at all costs. The puppets of the Skulls came over the hill first, and given their slow and wobbly movement patterns, they were easy pickings. However, several Skulls arrived on scene, and they were much more problematic. Many of them tanked numerous gunshots to the head yet still wouldn’t go down. I urgently requested air strikes and chopper support from the iDroid, yet Miller kept telling me that they were unavailable. We quickly found ourselves overrun. Soon, I was by myself as the Skulls closed in, and I had only my sidearm left. No matter how many headshots I landed, the Skulls kept coming. My vision turned dark…
However, not every Metal Gear Solid themed dream ends in my horrible death. One such dream sequence was that I swam to the shores of an insurgent’s base (though, the shoreline had solid glass walls, like an aquarium?), similar to how Raiden from Metal Gear Solid II began his mission. I used stealth and infiltration skills to evade the enemy guards. I hopped on a freight elevator and used my Codec to call Campbell. However, the enemy guards could hear me talking into the Codec when I was speaking (a plot hole that was not lost on adolescent me, though never acknowledged in-game). Many of them aimed their guns at me as their leader was in sight, they demanded to know who I was and why I was there. I told them Raiden sent me, he’s coming by with pizzas! with a level of quick wit that I don’t normally possess. Miraculously, that worked and everyone lowered their weapons. All I could do was judge them for being stupid fucks as I shot their leader and dove off the balcony and into the water to swim away. Mission accomplished!
Another success occurred deep in the setting of Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker. I was holed up in the Central American jungle. I perched myself on a canyon with a sniper rifle, with the given instructions to not allow anyone to pass the canyon. Suddenly, a horde of Metal Gear Gekko’s from Metal Gear Solid IV (these stupid fucking things) approach my position. I take aim at one of them, and pull the trigger. I somehow managed to hit their CPU dead-center, and the Gekko drops dead instantly. However, my gunshot alerts the horde to my presence, though they haven’t figured out where I was yet. I stealthily move from one point to another, dutifully eliminating Gekko’s from various vantage points; in a tree, from a swamp, behind a waterfall, et cetera. Not a single Gekko got through the canyon. Successful dream!
The outcome of the dreams ultimately reflected my level of confidence regarding my life at those moments in time. Admittedly, this was highly context-dependent. Sniping the Gekko came a week into a new job in which I had practically hit the ground running, though I felt that I was in over my head when I had the Defend the African Village dream.
However, the main reason for this article is not simply to confess the contents of various dreams I had, but really to play Break the Bot. The Michelin Man Article gave me two hypotheses; either the feedback had a hard limit of graphic violence, or I had reached some unknown-to-me word limit. Given that this article is roughly half the length of the previous one, though with a similar level of fictional violence (remember folks; these were dreams and nothing more), this will allow me to see which hypothesis is correct. While His Majesty proved that machines do experience fear, the AI bot did indeed read-and-interpret this article. Given that my previous article came in at a whopping 2370 words and still got interpreted by the bot, that means the limit is somewhere between 2371 words and 2555 words.
I break more bots than Future Trunks…
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