As previously discussed,, Ryan Holiday is not that great of an author or podcaster. However, he is one hell of a salesman, and only a fool denies that. He’s an unintentional inspiration because he has demonstrated that philosophy can be consistently and lucratively sold. Therefore, I think I’ll take a swing at becoming the Ryan Holiday of Nihilism. While the ideas that I’ll recommend in this article are tongue-in-cheek, I could pitch them in earnest and the audience could apply them to great impact. Furthermore, I’d sell the ideas with a serious public persona while privately laughing all the way to the bank, much like Holiday’s former sensei Robert Greene currently does. So, sharpen your pitchforks as I sell nihilism to the masses!
Honestly, I don’t even think that it would be that difficult to find a market to sell it to either. Along with the open nihilists of Reddit, 4chan, and damn near every political blog known to man now, there exists an underbelly of the American public that revel in counter-intuitive books. Ask Mark Manson if you don’t believe me. No seriously, he’s shown that selling nihilism can be done.
In a strange way, the surface-level teachings of nihilism can easily be packaged by a smooth-talking salesman (let’s not forget, that’s how Ryan Holiday started) as positives. For example, if life inherently has no meaning, then a charismatic speaker standing at the podium could easily use that as a lever to say that one should not spend months, years, or decades of their lives dedicated to such a pursuit. After all, life is so astonishingly short, hence we need to make the most of it. Time spent on a frivolous search for meaning could easily be spent building a company, getting another workout in, bonding with loved ones, or any number of more productive pursuits. The sooner you accept that you’re a cosmic accident, the better your life will be. That’ll be $25…
Much like Holiday does with the Stoics of Ancient Rome,I’d wrap the material in the veneer of history in order to lend it an aura of authenticity. While not as flashy as Rome, I’d use the philosophers of the Enlightenment Era and beyond. Just as Holiday himself throws around the violent dictators of yesteryear Italy (Marcus Aurelius, Cicero, Nero, et cetera), I could just as easily pepper the pages of a pro-nihilism book with references to Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, Sarte, and others.
Ryan Holiday has delivered speeches to the Ole Miss Rebels, San Antonio Spurs, and other athletic organizations in recent years to preach his flavor of Stoicism. However, I can do the same with nihilism; preaching that a higher power would inherently not care about the outcome of the contest could be weirdly freeing if presented under the right light. I’d present this on the coattails of a grander message of only you and your actions will impact the scoreboard, thus leading to a speech about ruthless planning and execution, and not leaving things to chance. Who knows, this might impact the coaching staffs as well, as offensive coordinators stop relying on last-second Hail Mary’s and NBA coaches stop praying that the other team’s star shooter misses a free throw. A BMW’s worth of cash hitting my account for an hour of speaking seems like a fair trade to me….
I can also package nihilism to entrepreneurs and CEO’s to help them focus on big-picture thinking. Nihilism inherently doesn’t care for the minutiae of petty details, thus mental energy spent worrying about things such as actuarial tables or tenths of a cent is not a life well lived. I’d sell this as a positive, as a major part of the job of executives is to provide the broader vision of the organization and provide direction from that vision. I’d strategically use the sunk cost fallacy (I know, I know, call me a hypocrite) to great effect here. I’d say something along the lines of life inherently as no meaning and nothing we do matters, so you might as well take that bold risk and pivot into a new market. I can see the five-figure-per-hour speaking fees hit my account already!
While we’re in the realms of capitalism, I’d sell nihilism to the masses as well. Nihilism would teach us that we are tiny and insignificant, thus our actions will have no grander meaning; this is a positive thing. If the common reader adopted Espinola-branded-nihilism as freely as they adopted Holiday-branded-stoicism, then they’d realize that borrowing at 6% interest spending their money on a fancy car or other trinket will never ultimately matter. Nihilism could also be applied to their workplace; stressing about a spreadsheet or a presentation mishap is dumb because these tasks will never matter in the grand scheme of things. The truth will set you free…
I’d sell nihilism to military units or to avid outdoorsmen such as ultramarathon runners, mountain climbers, et cetera. Holiday has been known to frequently deliver speeches to these organizations, thus there is quite a lucrative market for a silver-tongued salesmen deep philosopher. I’d include in my speech to the unit of Navy SEAL’s that the ocean will be cold regardless of what you want after the Department of Defense makes my pockets heavy. I’d tell the ultra-marathoner that the desert is going to be hot regardless. Similarly, I’d lecture the mountain climber that the mountain does not care at all if they lived or died, hence the expeditioners need to account for this brutal fact rather than relying on blind hope.
I can also market nihilism towards parents and teachers as well. Your son is a half-second slower on his times-tables flashcards than you would’ve liked? So what? This ultimately is not going to matter in the grand scheme of things in our-increasingly automated world. There is no point for a teenager to stress over their SAT scores either. You know who agrees with that statement? An ever-growing list of elite universities. Please be on time with your payment…
While we’re on the topic of children and teenagers in the modern day, I’d present nihilism as a means of combatting anxiety. This planet being hospitable to life, the path that evolution took, and the development of our societies are all incredibly rare statistical anomalies that amount to absolutely nothing in the grander scheme of the cosmos. Thus, spinning your wheels over how many Instagram followers one has or a how many likes a photo get will not matter in the grand scheme of things at all. Thus, it is a complete and utter waste to spend any mental energy on these concerns. What isn’t a waste, however, is those Benjamins landing in my checking account…
But why stop with the youth of the nation? Drunk Uncle Sam shouldn’t be excluded from my nihilisms. Allow me to line my pockets with a sizable tax-payer funded check from these three-letter agencies. Lecturing these under-motivated bureaucrats, especially those who work in foreign affairs, would go along way in keeping America safe once they realize that there is no inherent good or evil. Countries act off of their own self-interest and view themselves as the good guys; the sooner our diplomats realize that, the better. Based off of that fact, the State Department, Department of Defense, and several other organizations could stop wasting billions of taxpayer dollars and thousands of American lives with their heavy-handed decisions. These public servants (and do not forget that’s what they are for one second)embracing nihilism would benefit us all as they cut down on the needless sanctions or interventions. We have zero obligation to erase some conjured-up “evil” in Haiti, Venezuela, or whatever flavor-of-the-week country.
In fact, why neglect our domestic agencies from the values of nihilism? Once the SEC realizes that what they do is inherently meaningless, maybe they’ll stop policing the Average Joe investor. The FBI has already started to embrace nihilism as they have de-prioritized enforcing many marijuana consumption laws; they realize that, in the grander scheme of things, very little of this actually matters. As a result, the FBI has decided to pour their resources elsewhere. See? Nihilism works! Please wire the funds to my account within 48 hours…
I won’t lie, I have some work to do first. I’ve roasted Holiday in the past for using the same set of historical/celebrity examples to annoyingly drive home his points on Stoicism. Thus, I’ll also have to do my homework and find historical/celebrity examples of nihilism in action. Ideally. I’ll find a much larger pool of examples to talk about, thus surpassing the Roman fanboy. Fortunately, this shouldn’t be too difficult. Also, there is no denying that Holiday is uber-charismatic and has an unmatched podium presence. I’ll certainly have to practice speaking in the mirror and get my reps in on the local public speaking circuit before I can start cashing the Bill Clinton-sized speaking fees.
Nihilism for thee, Ray Liotta for me…
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