Recently, the beginnings of my days have changed. It used to be that I’d wake up with roaring hunger, often to the point of pain. I’d get up, make myself a massive bowl of rolled oats, and crush it pretty quickly. I’d get about 45 minutes worth of writing in before going to work out. By no means was this a bad routine; in fact, it served me pretty damn well.
However, starting a few weeks ago, I haven’t been waking up with the same absolutely demonic desire for calories. I originally used this would-be breakfast time to get my writing in. Once I actually wanted breakfast, I’d then go make my oatmeal. After scarfing down my low-glycemic calories, I’d go back to writing until I felt ready to workout.
This was ineffective for a few reasons. After my delayed breakfast, I would only have time for a push-up circuit (and anyone who doesn’t have time to workout is full of shit) instead of the full volume workout that I wanted. Not only was this holding me back in search of those sweet gains, I didn’t like the overall strategy. Although I started off the day with writing-an activity that I absolutely love-I was essentially sitting and waiting to get hungry before acting. So, I decided to give an emphatic Fuck That to the passive practice. I needed a change.
Thus, I decided to try a few pre-breakfast workouts for the first time since high school. Admittedly, I was a bit apprehensive at first. One time in high school, I went to a winter vacation workout session without eating breakfast, and I felt the dizziness and light-headedness hit me like a ton of bricks. I had to stop for a second, and had to ratchet down the intensity of the rest of the workout…like a little bitch! Teenaged me learned that working out with nothing in my system was a horrible idea.
But enough living in the past, let’s get back to the present day. I recently opted for a pre-breakfast workout, still weary about my emotional scar tissue on the topic. Since I was close to a food source-I was in my own home for fucks sake-I decided that this was enough risk mitigation and threw caution to the wind. I had a solid, though medium-intensity workout without the dreaded light-headedness feeling that plagued 17-year-old me. Hooray!
I decided to give pre-breakfast workouts a few more tries. Steady-state cardio, shoulder day, full body calisthenics, and leg day were all on the zero-calorie menu now. I did all of these without feeling the light-headedness; sorry Mr. Draiman, but I will not be visiting the Land of Confusion. As I type these words, I just completed my first pre-breakfast HIIT (high intensity interval training) session on my stationary bike, with a few sets of planks and Superman’s thrown in afterward for good measure. Again, no dreaded lightheadedness or fear of collapsing. Sounds like this is the second time that I’ve slain my teenage trauma.
With that said, empty stomach sweat sessions aren’t without their drawbacks. I’ve noticed that my overall output-whether that is top speed on the bike, overall stamina on the bike, or how many punishing leg day circuits I’m able to do-is noticeably lower when I workout before ingesting any calories. I can practically hear the unison shouts of No shit, Sherlock from the crowd in the distance!
“Dan, I still don’t see how this is relevant to a cult. What cult are you slowly descending into?” the impatient reader will definitely ask. Truthfully, pre-breakfast workouts are a gateway to the cult of intermittent fasting. While I haven’t fully sunken into that madness yet, I feel that on most days I m slowly slipping into that new religion of small feeding windows. This is because I absolutely love the feeling of exercise-induced hypoglycemia, and I don’t give three flying fucks what WebMD says. The gradual, mellow feeling of my plunging blood sugar levels is something that I haven’t been able to experience elsewhere. To quote my favorite OnlyFans model “What you’ve been looking for has been here the whole time”.
There’s also a mental edge to this as well. Completing a workout first thing in the morning feels great as well because it makes me want to conquer the rest of the day. After my workout, all I want to do is write articles and not go on porn benders. Then on weekdays, I go into work and all I want to do is completely get after it. Pre-breakfast workouts, in the words of David Goggins, silence my inner bitch. Once silenced, I’m usually on an absolute tear for most of the day.
I know, I know; I’m a total hypocrite. Well, perhaps not a total hypocrite, at least not yet. At the risk of sounding like I’m rationalizing, I haven’t yet fully taken the dive into intermittent fasting-hence I can’t be a hypocrite. My current feeding window is about twelve hours, which is far too large for the intermittent fasting community (one not known for leniency or forgiveness) to accept me as one of their own. So, I’m still on the outside looking in.
My pre-breakfast workouts have changed what I consume for breakfast as well. After working out and writing, this leaves me little time for oatmeal. Instead, I usually go for a protein bar, a serving size of almonds, and a nanner as I head out the door. The impact of time has the knock-on effect of lowering the amount of carbs in my diet.
With that said, it isn’t the complete euphoria that the intermittent fasting bros would lead you to believe. My oatmeal-less days typically involve a period of slightly slower brain function for a few hours. It served as a stark reminder as to how calorically expensive the brain truly is. Alas, some tweaking to my newfound love of pre-breakfast workouts is necessary. Though make no mistake; pre-breakfast workouts are here to stay.
“Well Dan, what’s your ultimate take home point?” a mildly annoyed reader will inevitably ask. Don’t be afraid to make adjustments to a routine, even if it serves you well. After all, we are more plastic than we realize.
Alright, time for me to stop talking about Fight Club…
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