In the days following the Trump assassination attempt; Chris Williamson had Tim Kennedy on a special episode of his podcast. As is the case most of the time, the episode was both engaging and informative. Kennedy, an expert with extensive special forces and executive protection experience, outlined everything that went wrong with OrangeMan’s protection detail that enabled a rookie sniper to get so many shots off, and the pitiful Secret Service evacuation attempt. Kennedy concluded the episode by discussing that the billionaire should hire his own private protection because the single-payer security detail wasn’t passing muster.
Unwittingly, Kennedy’s recommendation highlighted and reinforced one of the core lessons that I learned in college. I already went over how the most important thing that I ever learned in college was that your brain is truly plastic and capable of learning anything. Similarly, I also went over that you should never use a $200 word when you could use a fifty cent word. However, that is not what we’ll go over today. But first, we have to go back to yesteryear.
Back when I was a much angrier and more bitter man, I was sitting in a difficult Biology class. The professor admitted to being a second-generation American, as her parents migrated over from Germany. Thus, she had a soft spot for allowing government and public-sector employees to take the first few minutes of class time to advertise career opportunities for whatever Flavor of the Week organization that she permitted entry to. One time, shortly after the guest’s exit, the professor quipped that the bottom-third of each graduating class winds up working for the government.
At first, we all chuckled. I myself only thought that she was half-serious. After all, she was the type of woman to try to force a nervous joke in order to break tension (or, at least try to break tension; damn female nerds…). The years came and went, and I began interacting more and more with the world around me. I moved out of state and began traveling overseas on a regular basis. It slowly dawned on me; my old Biology I professor was absolutely right.
As I returned from the quirkiest little vacation ever, I had the not-so-pleasurable experience of walking into Customs. I was asked about where I was, and the officer didn’t even recognize the country I had gone to. Granted, most Americans couldn’t find it on a map, but this was a fucking border patrol agent; it was her literal job to understand other countries as they relate to the United States. This was just one of countless examples I’ve had with dim-witted government agents. First-hand accounts from trusted friends and family members as they’ve dealt with Drunk Uncle Sam have only confirmed my suspicions and my old professor’s wisdom.
There are stories abound of government employees being numskulls on the taxpayer dime; everything from drinking antifreeze on the job to law enforcement being a step behind Silicon Valley and everything in between. It isn’t hard to see why: the private sector pays significantly better than public service does, thus (assuming no nepotism) only the best and brightest can get these top jobs. I was in college during the lengthy 2013 government shutdown, and a recruiter for a federal agency was on campus eager to recruit the next generation for her toxic alphabet soup employer. She stood there and tried to pitch me on how stable and safe these jobs were; even as paychecks were not hitting her account. I couldn’t tell if she was just stupid or had simply drunken the Kool-Aid.
Many of my cohorts from college have gone on to become public school teachers. This wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the fact that these paint-chip eating knuckle draggers would routinely pester me for “help” on routine assignments and foundational concepts that they clearly never learned. I hold out hope that I’ll marry and start a family with a woman smart enough to homeschool my spawn for that very reason. Some of the other background extras from my college days became federal agents in various single-payer NannyState gigs. The public sector rewards length of time on the job above all else, as demonstrated by the socialized pension program. Meanwhile, the private sector rewards results and high performance over merely just punching the clock. You tell me which one you’d rather have in your corner…
In a way, it’s a double-whammy when one is dealing with Drunk Uncle Sam. Not only are these organizations drummed up with questionable motives and missions in the first place (the SEC and the FCC are just a few examples), but the ones carrying out these missions are just a wee bit lacking In the cognition department. In a backwards way, we should be kind of glad that these ethically hazy missions aren’t being carried out by people who know what they’re doing. And I’m not just waxing poetic; you can literally outscore some government jobs.
Circling back to the present day, and the ObeseOrange’s brush with The Reaper; Mr. Kennedy outlined several examples of how poorly trained and ineffective the detail was. The snipers tasked with surveying the surrounding buildings didn’t know how to use the fucking scopes on their rifles, nor (per Kennedy’s expert analysis) had they even been in a firefight before. One of the agents tasked with guarding the convicted felon needed 18 seconds to holster her side arm; you know, that skill that literally any reputable gun range offers courses on. It would be funny if the topic wasn’t so morbid and the stakes for democracy so dire.
Right-side bell curve brains don’t take left-side bell curve jobs…
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