With my illustrious power of FutureSense, I’m going to make a bold prediction. Not only will Donald Trump win the 2024 election, but upon re-taking office he will swoop in and save Andrew Tate. Yes, you read that right, and yes, I’m serious. Feel free to sharpen your pitchforks as much as you’d like, however the move would be on-brand for Trump for several reasons. Truthfully, one only has to take a brief look at not only his consistent rhetoric but his track record to see that this is practically an inevitability. Damn, Adam Driver is going to win an Oscar for sure!
“Well Dan, Andrew Tate is absolutely rotten to the core!” is one objection I’m likely to hear. Honestly, that has not stopped Donald Trump before. In February 2020, Trump commuted the sentence of Rod Blagojevich. Blagojevich, for the uninitiated, was the Governor of Illinois when Obama was first elected President. Blagojevich was tasked with appointing a temporary Senator to finish out Obama’s then-vacant term. However, Blagojevich outed himself on a wire-tapped call saying that he wasn’t “going to give it up for fucking nothing”. Blagojevich’s number one defense has been that he never actually received anything in exchange for Obama’s vacant Senator seat. Blagojevich’s level of competence notwithstanding, Trump clearly has precedent with freeing the morally corrupt.
“But Dan, Tate is being accused of some pretty heinous crimes! He allegedly tried to subjugate women and deny them basic freedoms. He’s worse than you with your AI bots!” is a critique that a perpetually scowling Karen will throw at me. Well, I hate to break it to you, but Trump has a precedent regarding that as well. Jack Johnson was an early 20th century heavyweight boxer who was convicted under the White Slave Traffic Act back in 1920 and served over a year in prison. In 2018, he received a full pardon from Trump. Unlike Johnson, who had one of the women he was dating testify against him in court, none of Tate’s former concubines have accused him of a crime. Thus, the smart money bets on Trump’s intervention on behalf of the embattled entrepreneur.
Trump has also set a precedent with freeing racial minorities from confinement that he disagreed with; if held again, Tate would certainly fit that description. Trump is actually quite known for doing this. Given that Andrew Tate’s trafficking accusations revolve around using the non-violent “loverboy” tactic, I can’t imagine a situation where Trump wouldn’t flex his political might to get the Romanian-based socialite out of hot water.
That last sentence touched on another reason Trump would likely hand Tate a get out of jail free card; bragging rights. If it’s one thing that Trump is known for, it’s ego. Trump would revel at the opportunity to rub it in that he, and not Biden, was able to intervene and get a notable American citizen out of trouble. Truthfully, the sound bites chopped up from his White House Rose Garden press conference would be reason alone to do it.
“Dan, generating spicy headlines and stirring the pot purely for its own sake isn’t enough of a reason for Trump to do that!” is another objection that I’m likely to hear, and it would be dead wrong. Let’s not forget that one of Trump’s first pardons was used to bust Sherriff Joe out of jail. Arpaio, better known as “Sherriff Joe” was a Sheriff who ran jails in the Maricopa County in Arizona, which he ruled with an iron fist. Through clever self-promotion on social media, he became a cult-like hero on the far-right. Trump freed Arpaio when it wasn’t even an election year, thus showing that 45 wasn’t afraid of media blowback (in the off-chance that anyone forgot that). Nor could Arpaio benefit Trump in any immediately obvious way. Basically, if it would trigger a far-left pundit, then Trump is likely to do it.
Although, Tate would serve at least an indirect benefit to the Republican Party as a whole, if not to Trump himself. There is also the topic of Tate’s audience to consider. By assisting the retired fighter, Trump would secure the loyalty of that audience for decades to come. In that scenario, there is a distinct possibility that all of those young men (because let’s be honest, that is Tate’s audience) would become Republican voters for decades to come. It’s not a secret that young male voters are moving to Trump, and Tate’s audience is a vastly untapped resource. Young men are feeling increasingly more alienated by the Left due to how the Left tends to vilify them. Trump and Tate are likely to have similar views on various issues, especially on ones involving tax rates and masculinity. Thus, Tate’s audience is ripe for the political picking.
Additionally, Trump would likely jump at the chance to punch down on another country. Trump spent years doing this in his first term as President, and it is unlikely that he will change his ways and become a dutiful global steward in a second term. Romania is a country that Trump would likely perceive as weak, given Trump’s disillusionment with NATO. Thus, the Romanian government, in Trump’s eyes, is a ripe target for some persuasion to drop the case against the US-born influencer.
Trump also has bragging rights on prying U.S citizens away from the clutches of foreign justice systems as well. In 2017, UCLA freshman basketball player LiAngelo Ball was traveling in China with the team when he was arrested for shoplifting inside the communist nation. Ball was quickly detained for his crime. Luckily for him, Donald Trump was on a trip to China and was able to get the Chinese Communist Party to release Ball and his fellow criminal teammates. Ball’s outspoken-yet-underaccomplished father LaVar Ball denied that Trump had anything to do with the scumbag’s release. However, when pressed for detail, LaVar ball couldn’t name specifics as to what he did to secure his son’s release. Face it, LiAngelo would likely still be sitting in a Chinese cell if it weren’t for the OrangeMan, as the Chinese Communist Party is not known for their leniency. Suffice it to say that China is far more powerful on the global stage than Romania.
We’ve discussed the why, but now it’s time to focus on the how. Officially, Tate is confined to the country of Romania as he awaits trial. Trump’s executive powers wouldn’t be able to impact the Romanian justice system, at least on paper anyways. However, Trump is likely to make a coercively one-sided deal with the Eastern European nation. A vary likely bargaining chip would be Trump not-so-subtly withholding military support in case of a Russian invasion if Tate’s legal problems do not magically disappear. Magically disappear could mean that the charges get dropped or Tate is extradited to the United States, where charges will likely not get filed under 45’s second term. As I’ve alluded to earlier, Trump has been loud-and-clear regarding his disdain for NATO, thus it’s a pretty likely scenario. Both the UK and Romania have extradition treaties with the United States; this wouldn’t even be an outlandish request in the first place. Thus, Trump wouldn’t even have to pull any unique levers to get his way.
I can’t wait to wait to break the bot on this one…
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