Last year, I wrote a piece called 2023: My Year in Writing, which served as my highlight reel. I wont lie, I had a lot of fun with that last year, and hence I decided Why not? Needless to say, if you read all of my works this year (60 in total, not counting this one) then feel free to skip this recap episode. Again, this’ll be in no particular order.
- Farming New Porcupines was one article in which the true meat came at the very end. Yeah, I gave some actionable advice as to how Team Porcupine can connect with younger voters, but that wasn’t the real value proposition. The true worth is that it spelled out a real-life (non-writing) career goal of mine. My previous answer to the career goal question was “multimillionaire” yet polite society found that unacceptable. That question is fishing for a job title, and this article provided one. Moreover; I’d love to put my articles into actual legislation one day. I’d like to count on your support in 2042….
- The Price of Canaries was an article that I absolutely needed to write after a mirror was forcefully held inches from my face. This mirror revealed all of the gaping flaws and imperfections of my character. In no uncertain terms the mirror showed that canary ownership was making me a worse human being. Make no mistake, for the limited few who legitimately can pull off a owning a fleet of canaries; you absolutely will pay a steep price. The longer you own the canaries, the more expensive the fleet becomes. You’ve been warned.
- Coca-Cola In A Post-Legalization World was an article that I felt compelled to write in which I take the assumptive stance of most likely instead of what I actually want. Coca-Cola would absolutely clean house in a world that legalizes cocaine. Truth be told, that world might be closer than you think. Coming soon to a college campus or cardiac ICU near you; Original Coca-Cola!
- In Critique of Impostor Syndrome was an article that said what needed to be said. Imposter Syndrome is not a real fucking disease. Maybe the reason you feel that you don’t belong is because you legitimately might not belong? Competence breeds confidence after all, no amount of angry mobs change that fact.
- FutureSense: Trump Pardons Tate was one piece that angered many, though I never actually got a point-by-point refutation as to why it was wrong (hint: because it wasn’t). The election of Donald Trump nearly 90 days after the article dropping reinforces my claim of FutureSense (hilariously, there are still some doubters, despite my track record). What was once laughed at is now legitimate cause for concern from our left-leaning friends as the reality I predicted is gradually coming to life. Adam Driver will make a boatload of cash portraying me…
- Unpopular Opinion: Men Owe Society Fitness; Wildy unpopular view? Check. Backed by solid logic and relevant examples? Check. Hard-hitting commentary? Check. This knowledge-drop had everything that one comes to expect from a Dan Espinola classic. Able-bodied men under the age of 55 owe society physical fitness; full stop.
- The Many Missed Opportunities of Alex Jones was the post-mortem analysis that the world needed, but definitely was not the one that it asked for. Alex Jones’ lawyers fumbled the ball so often I thought he had prime Adrian Peterson as his counsel. Jones himself was not blameless either, as he could’ve marketed his products way better
- An Ode to Routine Pt.II: I’m Falling into a Cult chronicled my descent into more than just a workout trend, but a way of life. I no longer fear empty stomach workouts before breakfast. In fact, I now embrace them, and all the light-headed fun they entail.
- Lessons from an AI Bender Pt.III: Breaking Porn Bots; So yeah…I um…went on a bit of a bender. However, along with making me hard as a rock, it also taught me a valuable lesson. It is utterly foolish to fear AI; it’s a tool just like any other. Boxing versus Judo, my friends…
- I’m Seeking Venture Capital Pt.VIII: BareBrides was an article that I enjoyed writing because of how Day One Ready the idea is. There is a lot of fat in the Wedding Industrial Complex, and this is one tangible way of disrupting the Holy Matrimony space. None of this uses any advanced technology or wacky economic models; just good old-fashion shame and embarrassment. Think of the human brain as an operating system that hasn’t been patched in 50,000 years; BareBrides seeks to exploit holes in the coding. Send venture capital today!
- Unpopular Opinion: Sword Art Online Is A Good Anime: What more can I say? I got to gush about my favorite modern anime. The Pontifex is the greatest villain that the main-line series has ever seen, bar-none. It has a spin-off series, but unlike most anime that try this; it’s actually good! Pito is an absolutely sadistic villain. Sword Art Online is fucking awesome, and no amount of calling me a filthy casual changes my mind.
I propose a toast; to broken bots and razor-sharp pitchforks as far as the eye can see…
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