This is often a reflective time of year for me, and there have been years of my life that have followed a certain theme. For example, 2023 was my year of quitting. Thus, I’m looking forward to the New Year, but I’ll be doing so with a twist. Instead of hoping for boundless success, I’m hoping for the opposite; I’m actively hoping to get my ass kicked as often as humanly possible in 2025.
Ass kickings are sure to happen, but what do I mean by ass-kickings? Simple; an ass-kicking will be a lesson painfully-learned; whether that may be feedback that’s uncomfortable to hear, missing a major opportunity, getting rejected, or any other number of unknowable outcomes that don’t go my way. Lessons painfully learned are lessons that stick, and are lessons that will speed up the learning process. Thus, rather than live in the fixed mindset, it’s best to embrace growth. However, with growth comes pain, and ass-kickings will be inevitable.
“But Dan” one may ask out of concern “Why do you want all of this? What’s wrong?” Well, there are changes I’m going to make in my life, and there is so much that I want to learn. The best changes are the ones made today, and the best lessons come via ass-kickings. I dislike the way my life is currently headed, thus change is needed.
One area I’d like to get my ass kicked in is sales. I disclosed a little while ago that I want to get elected to Congress and sales would be a great training environment for that. Essentially, politics is one massive sales job. You’ll need to sell the party on why they should dedicate their limited bandwidth (very limited, in the case of Team Porcupine) to giving you a soapbox. You’ll have to sell donors on why they should fill your coffers. You’ll have to sell voters on why they should support you on Election Day.
Got elected? Great! Now you’ll have to sell the party leadership on why they should put their goodwill and political capital behind your legislation. Your party doesn’t overwhelmingly control Congress (a damn-near certainty for Libertarians)? Looks like you’ll have to persuade members of the opposite sports team to vote in favor of your bill, at great personal cost to their careers. Your bill makes it through both the House and Senate? Great! Now you’ll have to sell the most powerful man in America to sign it. Sell, sell, sell; that’s what the job is.
With that said, only a fool would think that sales is going to be a smooth ride. Would I be starting from zero? No; a combination of my current management job and experience from my call-center college gig will help ease the transition a bit. Note the key phrasing a bit. I’m going to repeatedly get my ass kicked a countless number of times before I develop any true competency at the craft of selling. My ego is going to be absolutely flattened, though that’ll be necessary.
Getting into sales will be a realistic training ground for Washington. In short, if I cannot make it in sales, then I can basically forget about a silver-year career in politics. “But Dan, not everyone on Capitol Hill is a great salesman” an annoying but-actually reader would say. However, only a fool tries to argue from the exception and not the rule. Assume that you will not be extraordinary. Ditto for the second-place non-writing career aspiration of mine; lobbying. if one cannot sell, then just forget about a career as a lobbyist.
Sales isn’t the only thing that I’d like to get my ass kicked in. Recently, I bought my first firearm. Occasionally, I go to my local firing range and have practiced with my new criminal-repellent tool. However, I’m not naive enough to think that my current skill level is sufficient to survive and under-duress situation. Thus, I’d like to take a series of courses to improve my pistol-wielding, specifically to become good at the quick-draw. After all, being good at the art of the quick-draw is the whole point of conceal-carrying in the first place.
One would have to have an IQ of 75 if they think that they’ll be a natural at the art of shooting. My handful of trips to the range have already dissuaded me of that notion. Accurate shooting is going to take time and ruthless practice to get right, and the road to get there will inevitably involve getting it wrong.
I was aiming for his heart and forehead…
However, any asshole can pull a trigger, though saving a life is another matter entirely. Right around the time that I purchased my gun, I had the feeling that I should learn First Aid and CPR. I took action (because only a loser waits for a calendar flip). I reached out to my employer regarding the availability of the next First Aid/CPR courses (they have offered it in the past). There’s obviously going to be a steep learning curve; learning from an unmotivated STEM professor is one thing. Applying that knowledge on a live patient is another matter entirely.
Any serious First Aid/CPR training will involve a time-based trial in which care needs to be applied to a mannequin. Situations will be wrongly assessed, the wrong diagnoses will be made, tourniquets incorrectly applied and so on. I’m going to get it wrong much more times than I get it right. An instructor will shred my handiwork in front of the whole class. The ass-kicking will be to my benefit, and the benefit to any eventual future patients.
May the ass-kickings commence…
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