Ask any random person down the street if they’re a eugenicist, and they’re most likely to fiercely deny the claim. This is understandable, and frankly, the correct reaction. Some would say that America is a deeply racist nation, and their opponents will say that this is the most harmonious multicultural nation in history. However, there is no denying that a lot of change has been made on this front since World War II. However, ask that same hypothetical rando from the street if they-or anybody close to them-has ever used the phrase “some people should not be allowed to have kids” and you’ll likely be met with uncomfortable silence.
But before I delve too far into debunking this nonsense, I need to set some guardrails. I’m not going to focus on race (the usual context people like to associate with eugenics) or religion in this article. I’ll steer clear from political ideology as much as possible, though with a topic like this, some policy-talk is inevitable. Furthermore, this is going to be an anecdote-heavy article. Thanks to the amount of obfuscation and dog-whistling, hard data on modern-day eugenicists is obviously hard to come by, though their proxying views will definitely be used against them. Just remember, it’s always easier to show up at my front door with a razor-sharp pitchfork in hand than it is to look yourself in the fucking mirror once in a while…
One argument I’ve heard around dinner tables, gym locker rooms, crushing beers behind closed doors, and on the internet is the old adage you need a license to drive, but you don’t need a license to have kids; what the fuck is that? These closeted eugenicists often say this poorly-thought-out phrase from a position of imagined moral superiority, universally at someone else’s expense. This line is usually tossed out haphazardly before the topic changes to something else.
Ok, I’ll publicly pick up that gauntlet; would you really want the government to control which consenting adults get to procreate? The Eugenicists seem to actively want government control into their lives. Well, the most esteemed blog in all of the land issues a massive Fuck no to that sentiment. But setting aside my personal biases against this batshit-insane idea and examine this claim. Let’s take the issue of licensing; currently the states license people to drive motor vehicles, supposedly testing for a baseline minimum skill-level. And they get it wrong a horrifying amount of the time. That alone should be disqualifying real-world evidence for this 75-IQ claim. This isn’t just about scuffing the paint job on a twenty-year-old Toyota either, these are literal human lives and the future of humanity we’re discussing here. Please tell me the last time you left the DMV, or any government office for that matter, and have thought to yourself that was an efficient use of my tax dollars, and a service that needs to exist; go ahead, I’ll wait. Honestly, the government can’t even lay cables right. Yet the Eugenicists want to hand over control of all human sexuality to the NannyState? I’ll pass, thanks.
If you’re still on-board, what criteria would they use? The Eugenicists inevitably say that intelligence would be a requirement. For the sake of argument, what would that look like? Assuming it’s a written exam (an assumption on my part, since the Eugenicists never truly specify their claim), what type of questions would be on the exam? Would this exam test 3D spatial reasoning? What about history? Will root cause analysis be on this exam? How about spotting logical fallacies? Will all sections be weighted equally? If not, which ones will carry more weight, and why?
More importantly; who’s going to design this test, and what are their biases? If the answer you get to that last question is “there won’t be any biases”, you have my full permission to laugh hysterically at the Eugenicists. Afterwards. tell them to fuck off with that absolute nonsense.
Besides intelligence, Eugenicists love using income as another hoop to jump through to gatekeep breeding privileges. If I had a share of Tesla for every time I’ve heard if you can’t feed ‘em, don’t breed ‘em, then I’d have Peter Thiel money. Seriously; I’ve even heard that line thrown around in the workplace and it was commonly accepted with nods and non-verbal Amen’s. One extremist I’ve had the displeasure of working with advocated for the forced sterilization of welfare recipients; even after a single payment. The best part is that the Eugenicists out themselves now. Thus, the only question now isn’t if but simply how much? I’m not sure what the answer to that question is, and given how poorly-thought-out the Eugenicists stances are, you could bet that neither do they.
Would this minimum income threshold be consistent across the nation, such as the federal poverty line? Or, would it take into account regional differences in cost-of-living? If it’s the latter, then millions of middle-class Americans would flee high cost of living states in favor of lower cost of living ones. Some obese, bowl-cut angry Karen will shout “Seriously Dan, enough! Americans would never move across the nation in order to desperately hold onto their reproductive freedoms!” Excuse me while I laugh…
Here’s another thing the Eugenicists didn’t think about; the long-term implications of population decline. By restricting who is able to have children (let’s be honest here, that’s what they want; why else would they make a stink about this?) they’ll absolutely be making long-term population decline worse. Currently, the United States is far below replacement levels of births per woman, meaning that an ever-expanding population of retirees will be dependent upon an ever-shrinking population of working-age citizens. Not only that, but our GDP will inevitably tail off as we’ll have fewer productive citizens to compete on the global stage. None of the Eugenicists want a future in which we lose the global GDP race to the Chinese Communist Party, yet the policies they advocate for will bring precisely that.
Speaking of the Chinese Communist Party; they serve as a model of what a state-run Eugenics program in modern history looks like. The one-child policy was instituted by the CCP, and they are now suffering the consequences for it. There are so few women of child-bearing age in the Land of the Social Credit Score that their long-term demographics are completely fucked (hehe, see what I did there?). Of course, the modern-day eugenicists who spout this nonsense are also the ultra-patriotic type who plaster the American flag on everything. Suffice it to say; they would be greatly uncomfortable with how openly-Chinese their ideas truly are. It’s almost like this idea of theirs wasn’t fully thought out or something…
While we’re on the topic of oppressive regimes; most of the Eugenicists I’ve met are the openly don’t tread on me types. You know, the ones who invoke the Confederate Flag in the name of rebellion (read: Che Guevarra’s face for Conservatives). These types would be furious-up to and including the use of violence- if these Eugenic policies were enforced against them (in fact; many of them claim that this is already happening) It’s almost like they don’t seem to realize that laws are universal, or something…
Thankfully, the United States would be spared from the absolute worst outcomes of population collapse. This is because The Land of the Free and the Home of the Whopper has historically been a magnet for immigrants. Some of the best and brightest scientists, entrepreneurs, and researchers come to this beautiful nation of ours in hopes of pushing the bleeding edge of their field. Similarly, some come from more downtrodden backgrounds and come here in search for a better life. Whatever the case may be, immigration is a sure-fire way to dodge this worst-case scenario. There’s just one problem; many of the Eugenicists I’ve met also staunchly favor restricting immigration as well. It’s almost as if they haven’t properly thought out their stances or something….
Let’s imagine for a moment that the Eugenicists get their way; it’s helpful to ask what would this look like? One most likely case is that passing this written exam would be a requirement for graduating high school (despite many of these eugenicists also oppose standardized testing; go figure). Why high school seniors? Because only one-third of US adults has a college degree, and enrollment numbers are declining. Hence, putting this into the curriculum would be the most efficient way to roll out this ethically-dubious standardized test. Testing high school seniors is an effective way to introduce this over a generation.
Other than most of the cohorts who seem to advocate for this typically skip college, there is another reason to test high school seniors, preferably towards the end of the school year. The reason? To prevent high-school dropouts/GED students from taking the test, and hence, prevent them from having kids (you know, since eugenicists seem to have a superiority complex). What would happen if a student failed the test? Do they simply not graduate high school? Or do they graduate following sterilization (see above; these people openly endorse forced sterilizations). To proactively answer a reader question; obviously re-tests would not be allowed under any circumstances. After all, the foundational belief of eugenics is that genetic traits that grant one higher social status over another is immutable. Hence, no amount of re-testing would ever matter as growth is impossible (so they believe). All eugenicists, by definition, have a fixed mindset. If all of this sounds dystopic, that’s because it is.
Ok, so assuming large swaths of the population take these tests, then what? Who’d be likely to do well? Likely the same population of students who go on to college; studious types of people who are capable of sitting still and doing what they’re told to do. This written test that the eugenicists seem to want so badly would actively work against them; these are the same people who constantly yearn for a return to a blue-collar economy and a resurgence of skilled trades. They would, under threat of government force that they currently advocate for, would be carted off for their mandatory sterilizations. All of this coming from the same segment of the population who vehemently opposed pandemic-era vaccine mandates. After these forced sterilizations, the Eugenicists would die off after their natural life span, and the only ones left to populate the nation (besides immigrants, which again, they oppose) would be those who ideologically disagree with them. Put another way, the residents of the liberal bubbles that they love to complain about would likely end up inheriting the nation. It’s almost as if the Eugenicists didn’t think this through or something…
Of course, the Eugenicists would fight back against their forced sterilizations. Setting aside political violence (which, I do not advocate for, unlike most of the nation), they’ll trot out their best minds. These pundits (eww…pundits) will be quick to say that a written test is not indicative of real-world success after high school, nor is it a reliable proxy for actual parenting. And you know what? They’d be absolutely correct to say that. In fact, they’d be so correct that it’s best to avoid the concept of passing a written test gatekeeping the right to start a family in the first place. It’s almost as if this wasn’t fully thought out or something…
Share this article with the Eugenicist in your life; chances are, you have one…
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