Recently, the Village Elder (VE) and I spoke for nearly two hours. VE expressed disgust at Robert F. Kennedy Jr.’s team-flip. “His father and uncle are rolling in their fucking graves right now” VE quipped. While I can definitely see where VE is coming from (after all, the 1960’s were certainly a time of political radicalization that make today look like a picnic), there’s more to it than that. RFK Jr didn’t leave the Left, the Left left him! However, the Left got thoroughly donkey-kicked back in November. RFK Jr is now tasked by Trump to run the MAHA agenda, there lies a powerful potential ally that nobody else seems to notice. But don’t worry; since my brain works differently than yours, I’ll enlighten you all.
Essentially, a great way to bridge the political, and hence cultural, gap here in the United States (you know, if owning canaries just isn’t your “thing”) would be for RFK to enlist the help of Michelle Obama. Yes, you read that right, and yes, I’m serious. Sharpen your pitchforks all you want; but none of that changes the fact that these two titans have more alike than they are different. Thus, I’ll cast aside my usual Libertarian leanings and put on my political strategist habit and optimize towards stated objectives.
Michelle Obama and RFK Jr both have a commonly held belief of targeted government intervention that is in service of the common man. This is nothing new as RFK started his career as an attorney fighting to protect the environment. The Former First Lady similarly has a long and decorated resume of public service, litigation, and community outreach. My grander point is that both of them are much closer aligned with the liberals of yesteryear than they are with the new Left, even if RFK Jr is now on Team Red. Michelle Obama and RFK Jr have both been outspoken in the past regarding their passion for improving the health of Americans.
More importantly, a pact between Michelle Obama and RFK Jr would send wider shockwaves through the Democratic Party, and this is a good thing. While the seventy-year-old has fallen out of favor in the Land of Donkeys, Michelle Obama is still very much in vogue with the modern Liberal. Her willingness to hypothetically team up with RFK Jr would serve as a beacon to much of the party. That beacon would say that it’s time to get back to the roots of the Democratic Party; less Xe/Xem pronouns and more precision-targeted actions to benefit large swaths of the American public. This shift would tug the party (you know, the party that just got fucking annihilated in the election) back towards normalcy. Truthfully, if the Democrat leadership had any sense, they’d be nudging Mrs. Obama to do this.
With that said, it’s unlikely that today’s Democrat leadership would encourage this; the opposite is much more likely. Initially, there would be a ton of blowback to the formation of this alliance, especially by the radicalized and the ignorant. They’d both be called “traitors” to their parties. They’d also be accused of fat-shaming and of not being body-positive; these are new-age smear tactics designed by the modern Left to silence dissent. Michelle Obama’s more recent social media credibility would not shield her from scrutiny; she’d no longer be called a Black Queen. Anyone who disagrees with me should take a look at all the horrible things that modern liberals under the age of 35 love to hurl at Candace Owens. Make no mistake, Michelle Obama’s hypothetical decision to team up with RFK Jr to fight the good fight would incur a heavy upfront social cost.
However, RFK and Michelle Obama would need (and I sincerely believe, have) the prerequisite bravery to withstand these character attacks. The initial smear campaign from talking heads and social media wouldn’t last very long. After all, these nimrods have the memories and attention spans of goldfish. However, there will be something far more sinister resisting this alliance after that; BigMoney. What do I mean by that? Simple; BigPharma, the Health Insurance Industrial Complex, BigFood, and BigAgro will not take this alliance very well. In fact, they’ll almost inevitably hire a vast army of lawyers and lobbyists (and pay them far above market rate) to drive a wedge into their alliance and their collective efforts.
After all, this is only natural; Michelle Obama and RFK Jr both have considerable clout behind their names and can bring about actual change. Doubly so with RFK Jr sitting in an official post, backed with the blessing of Congress and the President. These industry interests have the most to lose if we suddenly stopped adding maltodextrin into every condiment and pasta sauce, Yellow Dye Number-Whatever into every block of cheese, ended soy subsidies and prevented a generation from developing needless chronic diseases (read: recurring revenue streams). RFK would truly need some Secret Service protection at that point!
As to what this would look like in practice, I have concepts of a plan (hehe, see what I did there?). Essentially, RFK Jr and Michelle Obama would split their duties regarding our food system,. RFK Jr would be handling the “back of the house” (regulatory reform, weeding out special interests) .Michelle Obama would be running the “front of the house” (outreach, education, myth-busting, crafting accurate guidelines etc). This strategy plays to both of their strengths for maximum impact.
Admittedly, I do not have all the answers either. RFK Jr’s job of lengthening a banned chemicals list is now significantly harder in this post-Chevron Doctrine world. Hence, the former environmental lawyer can expect a lot of legal challenges from the industry. While the Elon-led DOGE would help him out in terms of ending subsidies for corn and wheat, this in no way suggests that the job would be easy. With that said, Michelle and Robert would be this country’s best shot at meaningful progress.
Are sharpened pitchforks “Generally Regarded As Safe”?
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