It’s no secret that I love sports and free markets. I crack a wry smile every time I watch an NFL or NBA game and see a commercial enticing me to gamble on the event. It’s also not a secret that I hate government interference. During a commercial break of the same damn game, I have to sit through a bullshit anti-gambling public service announcement (PSA). These PSA’s are nothing more than government overreach unfairly targeting a blossoming industry.
Think about it; ads for McDonalds and other such slop-food companies are constantly peppering the airwaves, regardless of what channel you might be on. Now stop and think about how many times you’ve seen a McDonalds branded PSA with the messaging Are you obese? Call the Anti-Obesity Hotline! Yeah, me neither…
“Dan, that was incredibly fat-phobic!” some triple-chinned Karen screeches as she stomps the brake pedal on her $85,000 SUV. Fine, I don’t want to be exclusionary, so now I’ll thin-shame. Think of literally any ad you’ve ever seen featuring an attractive woman. Now, think of how many times you’ve seen a PSA asking the viewer to call a national hotline if they have developed an eating disorder or an addiction to plastic surgery (yeah, that’s a thing). I seriously doubt that number is higher than a single handful of times.
Come to think of it; caffeine ads are quite common too. Dunkin’s and Starbucks are mainstays, constantly pushing their literal addictive drug down the throats of Americans, even making a joke out of it at times. Caffeine is well known to cause a whole host of medical issues such as arrythmia and insomnia. Yet these stimulant pushers are not required to run PSA’s along the lines of Do you suffer from withdrawals without our product? Call this hotline!
Alcohol is another industry that spends heavily on TV marketing, whether it’s for mass-market beer, vodka, whiskey or other boozy beverages. However, what’s far rarer is the presence of Alcoholics Anonymous PSA’s, or hotlines related to liver damage. It’s almost like BigBooze isn’t required to run bullshit ads like this. They have managed to get away with Please Drink Responsibly at the bottom of the screen, with most hard liquor commercials only needing to explicitly say those three words.
Every so often, I’ll see a TV commercial encouraging the viewer to vacation in one of several luxurious party destinations in the United States. One prominent example is for the city of Miami. However, how many anti-cocaine PSA’s has one seen on TV? It’s almost as if Miami’s Chamber of Commerce has no legal obligation to warn people about the industry that basically built their city.
But let’s get away from ingestible substances and to something only slightly less personal; driving. Dodge, Jeep, Range Rover, and other such vehicle ads are all over the tube. However, how often do we see mandatory PSA’s revolving around getting help for one’s aggressive driving problem? Not only would such an idea immediately get struck down by the auto lobby, but Americans as a whole would absolutely view that as an attack rather than a lifeline. After all, over 90% of us think we’re above average drivers.
Every year, there’s a new generation of smartphones that get released. Entire books and documentaries have garnered critical acclaim talking about how god awful this technology is for us. One of the most charismatic CEO’s of our lifetime has been dragged out in a glorified dog-and-pony show to discuss it. Yet, despite all of the Meta, Apple, Google, and Samsung ads we see, we never have to sit through a PSA that asks Are you limbically-hijacked and suffering from a screen addiction?
While we’re talking about screens, how about retail investing? Apps such as Vanguard, Robinhood and Schwab are more common than ever. Many of which advertise how easily one can trade stocks now. At the end of these advertisements is the typical fast-talking disclaimer simply stating to read the prospectus and carefully consider each investment. Noticeably absent is the requirement to run a whole second advertisement in which some hack narrator asks the viewer Are you a problem trader? Get help for your stock-picking addiction today by calling this hotline. Pathetic…
The only real anti-product PSA that runs rampant on TV is anti-smoking programs. The ratio is all out of whack because BigTobacco has literally been shut out of the market due to federal laws. It says a lot about Drunk Uncle Sam that he’s only capable of winning a race when his opponent has been totally kneecapped. Seriously, where’s Nick Naylor when you need him? The real kicker? It’s not even PSA’s that are doing the heavy-lifting on this one. No, the real anti-smoking content that’s moving the needle is other companies advertising their smoking-cessation products, and not some bullshit helpline that networks are obligated to run.
Smoking is a curious case; the current state only came into existence after BigTobacco lost a landmark lawsuit in front of the eyes of the American public. Gambling companies have not suffered the same fate. Quite the opposite in fact; the sports gambling industry received a massive shot-in-the-arm from a landmark Supreme Court ruling in their favor. With how big the gambling industry is now, there’s no need for them to accept a sub-par status quo. Seriously, BigBetting must have some horrible lobbyists.
“So what do you want Dan, all of these harmful products to have PSA’s?” Fuck no, I want the opposite. I want the elimination of anti-gambling PSA’s entirely. Generally speaking, most states require the bettor to be over the age of 18, thus they are adults. We need to accept that adults have full legal agency. They’ll occasionally do things that the NannyState would prefer that they not. Sorry Creepy Uncle Sam, but you’ll just have to accept that people will gamble, and let them accept the consequences of their decisions.
Are you addicted to needless government regulations? Get help now!
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