A while back, I wrote an article dropping absolute undisputed knowledge that Marge Simpson Appropriates Black Culture. True to form, the pitchfork-wielding mafia arrived in full-force in the comments section. Also true to form, there was a lot of calling me a racist, but no real substantive counter-arguments being made.
How the commenters from the last article view me. Source: CNN (eww)
However, there has been a new development in this saga. The Simpsons are now lowering the curtains. Thus, with the three-plus-decade long show finally sunsetting, we can now definitively speak on the slop-body that is Marge Simpson.
One commenter notably mention that Matt Groening could try to ret-con Marge Simpson into being a bi-racial woman. This would excuse away her sins (in the eyes of the Left) of wearing a hairstyle that is not natural to her and frequently using the term “homie”. In fairness to that one commenter, it was a well-intended and good-faith idea. However, this did not happen. Thus, Marge Simpson, a non-black woman, indefensibly appropriated Black culture.
Allow me to appropriate Liberal culture for a brief moment. We need to determine an acceptable punishment for Marge Simpson’s heinous and disgusting crime. Her show being cancelled simply isn’t enough. The immediate removal of The Simpsons from Disney+ would be a good next step, as would discontinuing sales of Blu-ray box sets of the show. But that still doesn’t go far enough, we must desecrate history. Better yet, why not just revise it entirely and remove her? While we’re at it, paid influencer campaigns need to be made discussing the harm (real or imagined, typically the latter) that Marge Simpson has committed to the Black community. She should be made to grovel for forgiveness, only to be shunned anyways. Alright, I’m done cosplaying as a libtard; excuse me while I scrub off my top few layers of skin.
“Dan, why the fuck are you still going on about this? Didn’t you know that Woke is dead? Seriously, South Park even made a new episode about it!” I am keenly aware (and happy about) that Liberals got utterly annihilated at the polls in November. However, I simply cannot nor will not take an opportunity to gloat about how utterly correct I was the entire time. Doubly so when “the whole time” started in a period when saying these truths were harshly unpopular. But hey, call me a racist anyways…
The haters are playing defense while I appropriate Shaq culture
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