So, the gun community tends to hype up preparing for a so-called zombie apocalypse. Making matters worse is that Drunk Uncle Sam fed into this delirium as well. The CDC once posted a zombie apocalypse guide in the form of a comic book. Granted, this has died down (heehee, see what I did there?) since the 2010’s when zombies were the cultural zeitgeist; no thanks to Call of Duty.
On the surface, it’s easy to see why; zombies are a politically neutral opposing force. Phrased another way; nobody in polite society, save for the most uptight, will socially penalize one for openly discussing anti-zombie tactics, save for telling you to touch grass. However, dig a little deeper and you’ll find a dark truth; zombie is really just a dog whistle for junkie. Yes; you read that correctly; sharpen your pitchforks accordingly.
Now hold on folks, I’m not saying that all-or even most-gun owners wish to commit violence. That is obviously not the case. Nor am I advertising that anybody go out and commit acts of violence against dope-heads. All I’m saying is that zombie is a code-word invented by (or at least, appropriated by) gun-industry salesmen as a stand-in for an issue that polite society doesn’t want to discuss.
Similarities
Much like zombies, junkies are driven by one sole command: the need to feed. They live on emotion and a basically primitive drive to get their next dose. This will mean that they’ll stop at no moral, legal, or physical barrier in their pursuit of their next big score. Compare this to zombies, where they are only slovenly chasing braaaaaaaaains and you’ll start to see a resemblance.
Think about it; both junkies and zombies are not in their right minds. Their condition only worsens with time and they cannot be reasoned with. Both zombies and junkies have reaction times that are substantially slower compared to a healthy human. The decision-making skills of a junkie are dulled quite a bit as they have the product in their system. Ditto for zombies; name a single zombie movie scene that Hollywood or Triple-A gaming has portrayed in the last 30 years which a horde of zombies executed a brilliant strategic move. Go ahead, I’ll wait….
Both zombies and junkies tend to nest in resource rich habitats, mooching off of whatever native population tolerates their existence. Pretending to not see them in your community doesn’t magically make them go away. Both are honestly an eye-sore and a drain on society. Ignore these nests at your own peril, for it’s only a matter of time until they expand. Soon enough, they’ll both be at your front door.
An addict is liable to get unbelievably angry when they cannot get a needle in their arm-much like a hungry zombie-thus making them dangerous. However, angry fighters are typically not the best strategists; everyone from Sun Tzu to Floyd Mayweather knows this. If one is not a hand-to-hand combat specialist, keeping a safe distance is the best bet. Enter guns…
A doped-up, the junkie is quite numb. Pair that with a persistent engine-a zombie trope-and that is a destructive recipe. Body shots simply aren’t enough. Similarly, zombies have only one recurring weakness; having their brains splattered onto the fucking pavement. Fun fact: junkies have that same weakness….
Candidly, junkies and zombies have another commonality that I alluded to earlier; lack of a stigma against their mistreatment. While some of our heavily left-leaning brethren generally have compassion for fentanyl-fans, it is unwise to assume that everyone holds this belief. America generally is quite harsh on tweakers. And it’s not like society actually cares, judging by our actions. Thus, in a strictly defensive scenario (legal disclaimer), one is conditioned by society to not lose sleep about using lethal force (again, as a last fucking resort) against a dope-head.
The Gun Community
There is a reason that the 2A community does not fetishize an AI drone apocalypse to nearly the same extent as they do a zombie apocalypse. An AI apocalypse, like the ones portrayed in various Terminator movies, involve an opposing force that is both highly intelligent and ruthlessly logical. Both of these features significantly raise the level of difficulty; preparing for automated drone strikes and being hunted by RoboCop is a whole different ballgame versus simply posting up on a rooftop in Racoon City. One is fighting trench warfare against a highly adaptable enemy, and the other is basically hunting at a petting zoo.
Preparing for legions of an opposing force that is both more intelligent and coldly unemotional requires a lot of training. Essentially, one must join an organized militia (and risk being labeled a domestic terrorist by the Feds) and religiously train guerilla warfare tactics and defensive fortification scenarios. This requires much more than a credit card; just re-watch the first Terminator movie. Kyle Reese was a savvy combat veteran, well-versed in survival tactics and trench warfare. Yet, the Terminator still gave him all that he could handle.
Contrast that with a zombie/junkie apocalypse; all that’s really needed to overcome a slow-moving, low IQ, predictably irrational enemy is mediocre aim, a decently reliable firearm, and some ammo. One is not exactly spending a ton of brainpower or calories to take out a knuckle dragger; whether he’s yelling brains or percs. Preparing for a junkie apocalypse absolutely can be bought.
And therein lies another hard truth; the industry is incentivized to keep blowing this dog-whistle; hard. Gun manufacturers-and just as importantly, accessories manufacturers-have figured out that leaning into fear and videogame tropes is a great way to ensure that plate carriers, ammo cans, optics, tactical flashlights, bug-out bags, night-vision goggles and the like keep flying off the shelves.
And now, I’ll leave you with the words of the great Chris Cornell …
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