That’s right folks, YAH BOI is back at it again. I’ve had some thoughts burning a hole in my pocket for a while now. While they are borderline long enough to stand independently, I feel that the two Scraps fit together nicely. Thus, start grinding your pitchfork as you dine on this proverbial PB&J…
Judicial Reform
I spill barrels of ink on this blog discussing legislative reform and policy changes I’d like to see. This is a necessary part of the conversation, albeit an incomplete one. As we all learned in elementary school, there’s three branches of the government. Thus, it’s high time that we discuss what judicial changes I’d like to see.
I’ve previously discussed the cognitive biases of judges. Seriously, do not call judges soft or woke, but call them restorative because it means the same damn thing. With that said, American’s are getting fed up with violent offenders being repeatedly let out into the streets while judges aren’t held accountable. Thus, we need to have judges feel the heat.
In the first tier of my reform, judges who grant above a certain percentage of early release cases they preside over automatically volunteer their zip codes as drop-off locations for these cons. Currently judges do not generally live in the districts in which the criminals they catch-and-release wreak havoc in. Once the judges get some face time with the pieces-of-shit that they subject the rest of us to on a daily basis, then you can safely bet your bottom dollar that judicial decision making will swiftly change. George Carlin was a man wise beyond his years.
The second tier of my incentive plans for judges would be holding their job security to a maximum threshold for re-offenses. If X% of convicts they sentence commit a felony within five years of their release, then the judge must be removed from the bench. Why? Simple; because etymology. The word judge is as much a verb as it is a noun. The term confers an assumed ability to survey a person’s character, the severity of the crime, and the risks to society should they not be sufficiently punished and re-oriented in prison. A high rate of repeat offenses under their watch means that clearly these men-in-black are not getting this calculation correct. A high failure rate should result in termination; just like in any other line of work.
Failing that, we move to the third and final tier. if an inmate that a judge has sentenced or granted an early release to commits a particularly egregious crime such as rape or murder within five years of their newfound freedom, then the judge who gave them the light sentence/early release needs to wind up in a cell. Generate as much media hype around the event as possible. Judges who make this sort of grave miscalculation must absolutely be made an example of. Once other robed JD’s see their brethren stripped and sitting in a cell for a lengthy sentence, then watch sweeping change happen throughout courtrooms. Within a single campaign cycle, judges would magically lose their appetite for being restorative and actually start punishing criminals again.
John Oliver enters the chat. “Hang on there, you [insert corny ad hominem here]. You can’t just do that! That would mean judges would just resort to long sentences by default, you [insert other lame ad hominem here]”. Why yes, you failed comedian, that’s the whole fucking point.
An extension of the idea is to have the judge be held in a facility in which there’s a sizable population of inmates that he sentenced there. Protective custody will of course be unavailable in this scenario. The judges exposure to the general population of inmates is an absolutely crucial part of this reform. No more insulation for the former bench-warmer.
Once inside the prison, the judges also need to be interviewed and followed around with a camera crew to document their experiences. The reality TV episode will then be shown to other judges. Bonus points if there are visible bruises, defensive wounds, or signs of harsh sexual abuse inflicted on the former judge. This would serve as a powerful deterrent to remaining judges who think about being soft on crime-uhhh I mean restorative.
Mercy to the guilty is cruelty to the innocent.
How Republicans Can Swing My Ballot
It’s story time; I wasn’t always a Libertarian in my adult life. That screeching you just heard was the record scratch; yes you read that correctly. It was the 2012 election, the first presidential election in which I was legally old enough to vote. Obama was seeking reelection against Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney largely ran on a platform of cutting government spending, which deeply resonated with a Younger Me.
Take a look at the Republican Party now, and it’s almost completely alien to what it was during the Romney run, let alone the Republican Party under my father’s generation. Thus, since I recently wrote an article on how the Democrats can swing my vote, it’s only fair that I offer the Elephants the same opportunity to do so. Just like with the article on the Democrats, I’ll keep my spicier opinions at bay. In another show of good faith, I won’t force novel views onto the Red Team either.
Policy Changes
First and foremost, and I said this to the Blue Jackasses; no more bullshit wars! I’m serious. Donald Trump ran on no new wars in 2024 then proceeded to meddle in Venezuela and drag us into a quagmire in Iran. The American populace has very much spoken their disdain for the avoidable and needless war. It’s time for less Ted Cruz’s and Lindsey Graham’s and make room for the Dan Bilzerian’s and Nick Fuentes’ of the world. America First; period!
Part of the reason that Trump had so much momentum in 2024 was the widespread hunger for Elon’s DOGE efforts. DOGE came in with a full head of steam for the first 90 days of the administration, but then quickly fell by the wayside as Elon went back to guiding the ship at Tesla. The American people gave a very clear mandate to cut out waste, fraud, and inefficiency. The next Republican ticket ought to sincerely commit to DOGE (and not just as a half-assed PR headline grabber) for at least an entire term. DOGE it up!
Which segues into my next stance; up until Trump, the Republicans were known as the fiscal watchdog party. Needless to say, they’ve all now abandoned that. Thus, if future elephants want to earn my vote, then they’re going to have to start cutting down federal spending and paying off the national debt. Shut off the goddamn printer already!
Part of fiscal responsibility involves ending the corporate welfare state. There’s no such thing as too big to fail. The American people, and this writer included, can’t stand that fucking phrase. We hated it back in 2008 when it came to the financial sector, and we hated it in 2020 when it came to airlines. If a company fails, then another will surely come to take its place. Believe it or not kiddos, the Republicans actually used to be the party of free markets. It’s time to get back to that. Make a shit product or idiotic YOLO bets? Then go out of business. Republicans will be the first one to hate Sheniqua’s for leeching off the tax payer dime yet will clearly tolerate a Fortune 500 executive doing it. No more handouts!
While we’re on the topic of finances, we need to talk about banking; or specifically, de-banking. During the Biden administration, de-banking became a common and devastating way to cancel somebody, frequently without a conviction. In our capitalist society, cutting off someone’s access to their funds is an indirect way of cutting off their access to food and shelter. Therefore, Republicans hoping to earn my ballot must commit to passing a law that forbids this practice without a felony conviction (such as fraud or money laundering). Future attempts at de-banking must be fought with the ferocity of a First Amendment violation, because it basically is. If money is speech, then de-banking is censorship!
GOP hopefuls can earn my support on another key area; the privacy of citizens. Defunding/abolishing the NSA is a great place to start, as well as a presidential pardon for Edward Snowden and expunging John Kiriaku’s conviction. But that simply isn’t enough. No more spying on US citizens without a warrant approved by a judge. While we’re at it, we need to repeal the Patriot Act and defund/abolish the TSA. They do little more than violate the rights of Americans, and they suck at their jobs anyways. If the TSA actually prevented a terrorist attack, then they’d never shut the fuck up about it. In reality, it’s been crickets. But wait, there’s more; blue leaders love BigTech, so a great way to protect citizen privacy while Owning The Libs is by stonewalling attempts to require the installation surveillance tech into vehicles. Enough’s enough!
Credit Where It’s Due
In the interest of calling balls-and-strikes, Trump 47 has done a lot to advance gun rights in this country. A big win was removing the $200 extortion payment tax stamp on suppressors, short-barreled rifles and short-barreled shotguns. Ditto for establishing an office in the DOJ dedicated to treating gun rights as civil rights; because they are. But more must be done. Sign laws that forbid banning/modifying common platforms such as the AR-15. Federally ban all magazine restrictions, and pass legislation for nationwide permitless conceal carry. Rights are rights, and a state border shouldn’t change that. Outlaw prosecuting a homeowner for defensive shootings on their property and offer protection against civil suits except for uninvolved third parties. Legislate national stand your ground status if a citizen has a legal right to be where they are. it’s time that full-auto rifles are legalized for the average citizen as well. Every criminal and fake-ass-studio-gangsta rapper brags about having a switch on their Glock, and federal agents are issued full-auto rifles. Once we allow law abiding citizens in war zones liberal cities to arm themselves, we’ll watch crime plummet within a single term. Make Criminals Afraid Again!
I’ll also give some sunlight to the current administration on immigration. The southern border is far more secure than it ever was under Biden (or many recent presidents, for that matter). Impressively, this was done with little in the way of new laws; bravo! With that said, keep the momentum going. Don’t let up on immigration raids, but also work with police departments in friendly red states to remove illegal immigrants as well. But truthfully, deep immigration reform needs to happen from the top-down. CEO’s who pull this shit need to wind up in a cell. Throw a few of them in prison, and watch how quickly the landscape changes. While Republicans are at it, it’s time to tighten up the H-1B visa situation. I’ll admit that the H-1B visa needs to exist, but current state has gotten out of hand; we don’t need to import IT support desk employees..
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